One Way

 

I have this Widget; it is new and in good shape.  I have no use for it, so I called Widget.com to see if they wanted it back.  Their phone system is operated by AI.  It has a set of questions that it asks when you call.  I ran through all of their questions with my answers.  1. No, I am not a current customer.  2. No, I do not want to open an account.  3. No, there is no problem with my service.  I don’t have your service.  4. No, I can’t give you my account number, because I don’t have an account with you.  And then all of the questions repeat.  It is a useless loop of insanity.

I called my friend and explained that I have this Widget and it is new and in good shape, and that I have no use for a Widget, and the Widget company has opted to use a computer instead of paying an employee to be the face of their customer service, and their computer isn’t programmed to deviate from a script of basic questions. 

My friend said he had no use for a Widget, but thanks for asking.  I said, “No problem,” and hung up.   This whole thing made me think of the Roach Motel.  They walk in but they can never walk out.  That seems to be the same problem with these Widgets.  The company gets you to take them and then you’re stuck.  You can never get rid of the thing, even if it’s a nice one, in good condition. 

The more I thought about that, the more I realized this entire neighborhood is a Roach Motel.  We are not allowed to have garage sales, so getting rid of something is next to impossible.  Everyone here walks in under their own steam, but the only way out is on a stretcher.  The ambulance shows up and carts them away, the house goes up for sale, until a replacement Roach buys it and moves in.  Yes, there are storage areas everywhere, but who wants to pay so much a month to store your junk?  Not me. 

Maybe the next time the paramedics show up to cart someone away, I’ll sneak this Widget into the ambulance, toss a blanket over it and they’ll never know the difference.

 

“Hey Larry, what’s under that blanket?”

“How should I know?  I thought you put it there.”

“I didn’t put it there.  Maybe the day shift left it.”

“O-well, just ignore it.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

ZC