Passing Go

 

It would take a time machine, but I would prefer to come back as a small game piece on a board, then to be an electronic avatar maneuvered about by some circuitry.  Any number of electronic failures could result in a fatal mishap, but to be an actual game piece, the potential for adventure is limitless.  I could accidentally get knocked off the board and roll under the couch or chair.  I could be swatted by the cat and go flying off to somewhere unknown.  Even possibly eaten by the baby, who doesn’t hesitate to put any number of things in its mouth.

Over time the stories a game piece could gather would fill volumes, such as the great dust bunny round-up beneath the sofa or the incessant hum in the back woods of the refrigerator. Any number of tiny places can easily hide a game piece for years.  Left behind and eventually replaced by a lint-covered lifesaver, but the memory of the original piece lives on.  Back in the day, passing GO with the excitement seldom experienced by any algorithm.  

zc 

 

 

 

 

 

Just a Suggestion

 

Two squirrels were playing in my front yard.  It looked like they were having fun chasing each other, running very fast then in a blink, changing directions.  At one moment one of them flung himself onto a tree.   He seemed to stick there as if he and the tree were made of Velcro.  How amazing are these little knees that can twist and stop and suddenly change directions.  Little engineering marvels. 

Never have I seen an elderly squirrel using a cane or walker.  Their little systems must be designed to survive life in the fast lane.  As long as they don’t try to cross the lane, they do fine. 

Maybe those designing today’s robotics should take a look at squirrel technology. 

 

zc

 

 

Abraham Lincoln in Heaven

 

I saw him in a dream.  He was taking a break from running the country and enjoying a selection of short stories.  By the look on his face I could tell he was enjoying them.  I thought, too bad there wasn’t a rating system back then.  I wonder if he would have rated this book with five stars? 

Later in my dream, Abe had given up completely on running the country and instead found himself a recliner next to a Willow tree and just read the stories all over again.  His wife, Mary, brought him out a bowl of Lay’s potato chips and a Coke.  Abe felt like he was in heaven.

 

 

 zc

 

 This exercise was to show that advertising
doesn't have to be loud and obnoxious.  It
can quietly slip between the pages of life, as
if it too were in the shade of a Willow.

 

I Snapped

 

I, in a rare moment of clarity, and without consideration of others, spent my last 65 cents on a donut.   I did not invest it for my future, neither did I save it for a rainy day.  I saw the donut and I bought it.  Immediately I took a bite.  It was fresh, tasty and oh so good.

I have no buyer’s remorse.  I know what I did and I stand by my decision.  Of course, I weighed the caloric content against the value of immediate gratification and well… you know the outcome. 

In my defense, all I can say is, I saw the donut sitting there in the glass cabinet and I snapped.  A reflex was triggered in me that sent me into a mental state where I was no longer in control of myself.  I don’t think I should be held accountable for my actions.

I might go as far as to suggest it was entrapment.  The bakery knew what they were doing.  People could see right through the glass, and they deliberately placed the donut there in plain sight.  It was an obvious case of a willpower avoidance technique.  I’ve read about such cases back in the 60’s. 

Even with the powder residue found on my hand, I should be found not guilty.

 

 

 

 

zc 

Truth be Told

 

You’d think there’d be one

 

Out of the thousands of books at the library, I have yet to find one happy story.  Just a simple happy tale that doesn’t involve murder, revenge, greed or some manipulating, ladder climbing, shoe wearing, greasy haired moron, doing whatever it takes to get ahead. 

Even in the children’s section, I discover Jack and Jill having to trudge uphill to simply fetch a pale of water.  Who in their right mind keeps their water at the top of the hill?  And if that isn’t bad enough, clumsy Jack falls down, spills everything, gets fired and ends up living back at Mom’s, who – if truth be told, never was that crazy about Jill.

 

 

 

Hold on

 

Please remain seated until we come to a complete stop.

 

 

There was a time, not long ago, when we had to lick the back of postage stamps to get them to stick to an envelope.

 

Radio stations would disappear from your car radio whenever you drove under a bridge.

 

You could buy a pocket watch for $5.00 at the drug store.  They would last about two to four hours, that’s it.

 

Alexa, back then, was in your wall phone.  You had to dial 411 for information.

 

Schools considered it cheating if you carried a pocket calculator to class.  Now everyone carries a cell phone or laptop.

 

And the ride isn’t over…

 

 

30-Y

        I remember, it wasn’t long after that when they came up with the 30 Year Pill.  Just taking it one time and it would take 30 years off your age.  The government had come up with it in order to increase the size of the draft pool.  If you had not served in the military, but now were too old, this pill would once again place you in the realm of active-duty possibilities. 

        They had not counted on it overloading other areas of society, such as hospitals, traffic and overcrowding in general.  Tampering with the evolution timeline turned out to be devastating, and the flood of counterfeit pills was a nightmare, not to mention, it was fatal if you were too young and took the 30-Y pill.

        Insurance companies ended up in continual legal battles, medical records became useless and people who had once suffered debilitating aliments now showed no trace and could discard their walkers and canes.  Vision issues disappeared, and drug companies launched a massive lawsuit against the government claiming loss of profits.

 

       zc