A Long Way Around

 

We sat at the kitchen table.  It was, just days before, our mother’s kitchen table, but now she was gone and we were suddenly the ones left.

As we talked, as brother and sister do, she was going around the house gathering various jars of pennies, coffee cans of lose change and when she began counting it out, I finally I asked what she was doing.  “We need to divide things up.” She said, as if my thoughts were headed down that road.

“I do not want anything. I replied.  We just need to make some phone calls to see what it is we need to do next.”  That took place in 2011.  It is now 2026.  My sister and I live across the country from each other.

The last time I got to see her was when I was told by the doctor that I had Leukemia.  She flew out to spend time with me.  As you can see by this post, I survived.  Other than our various operations and general growing old pains, we are still enjoying each day. 

Today I received a mystery package in the mail.  It was a book.  I did not order it or even know why anyone would send it to me.  Then, tucked in the envelope with the book was a note from my sister.  She had read on my blog about a time I had found this book in a bookstore.  It had made an impact on me and she thought I should have it.

 

"At the age of eighty my mother had her last bad fall, and after that her mind wandered free through time."

 

 

 

What to do

 

if you're not good at painting noses.

Fear of Heights

 

"This is Jake, in the tower...

did you hear me?

You're cleared for takeoff."

Witness Protection

 

Third tuba player from the end.

Adjustable Shutter Speed

It is the power of manipulation that allows some things to come into focus, while leaving others in a fog.

There are obviously limits to fine-tuning certain aspects of life.  Most remain out of our control and for good reason.   Until we have all the facts, human logic tends to be influenced by a variety of distractions, whims and personal preferences.

 

 

***

 

 

The mind loves the illusion of the manual setting. Turn the wheel, narrow the aperture, slow the exposure — and suddenly it feels as if clarity is a choice, as if the scene will obey.

But life is a camera with a mischievous streak. It lets you adjust just enough to believe you’re steering, then slips a hand over the lens and fogs the glass to remind you that some things refuse to be captured cleanly.

We focus where we can: the crisp edge of a single thought, the glint of a moment that cooperates, the one detail that stands still long enough to be understood.

Everything else drifts in and out like weather. Human logic is a skittish creature — easily startled by preference, distracted by whim, seduced by the nearest shiny certainty.

And maybe that’s the mercy of it. If we could fine‑tune everything, if every variable snapped obediently into focus, we’d lose the soft blur that makes life bearable — the fog that protects us from too much truth at once.

Clarity is a privilege. Ambiguity is a buffer. And the shutter, adjustable as it may be, always clicks with a little rebellion in it.

 

 

 

 

Seat 19

 

Should you discover some day that I am sitting in the bleachers, cheering for the wrong side, make sure my scarf is secure and bring me a hot chocolate.  I expect my lapse to be momentary. 

I have transported without luggage.  My thoughts are distant and experiencing life outside of these shoes.  With only a blank stare and no passport, expectations remain low.

The wind is laced with a chill that snags my attention and smears the ink, making it appear as if I written with mittened hands.   It is, however, winter itself causing my pen to stutter.

 

 

 

 

Before

 

Long before they sent car designers to school, back when they were free to create, to experiment and simply be left alone to do their thing, the end result was different. 

Without government interference, forcing seat belts, air bags, and crumple factors, crash test dummies lived a long happy life. 

Before plastic and computer chips and back-up cameras, cars were made of steel, and simple dents didn’t turn the vehicle into a total loss. 

Cargo space and tow packages didn’t exist.

We didn’t require power steering, power brakes or alarms.

Examine the cost of this car today and compare it to a fully loaded SUV with all the bells, safety features, computers and navigation systems. 

There is a reason this one is more expensive.