Friendly Skies

 

“Sir, that isn’t going to fit in the overhead.”

 

“Pull your legs in a bit, you’ll make it.”

 

“If you keep your elbows tucked in close to your body, they’ll be plenty of room.”

 

“No Sir, that seat does not recline.”

 

“How about a peanut – no charge.”

 

 

 

 

 

It's a Long Way Down

 

There is a stability that is added to each step when using a cane.  That is the slight edge that is needed due to the unpredictability of the wrong step.  Just one slip can send you into a seemingly endless series of tests, doctors, nurses, hospital rooms, rehab facilities and bad meals.

But that’s not the worst of it.  Let’s back up for a minute, back to that hospital room.  It’s not private.  There is a second bed in there and the sounds coming from that bed are enough to keep you awake for years.  Enough to give you nightmares you haven’t had since childhood.

And because there are two beds, that means there are double the number of nurses coming and going all night, and strange visitors showing up to visit whatever it is in that other bed making all those eerie sounds.  You know they are not awake or aware of their surroundings, and yet their television runs non-stop.

You point your remote at their TV and press mute, but nothing happens.  You keep pressing but without success.

        Eventually another nurse makes her rounds.  She asks if you have any pain.  You slowly lift your hand to show her your thumb, which now hurts from pressing the mute.  She doesn’t understand, but compliments you on eating all of your Jell-O.

 

 zc

 

 

Thoughts in the Margin

 

Certain aspects of life will never make sense in my mind, like why does something the size and weight of a battleship float?  How do pencil manufacturers know on which end to put the eraser?  Whatever system they have seems to work.  Why yet, has no one marketed hindsight? 

By this time in our history and with the technology we have, you’d think they could design an automobile that doesn’t consume any resources, no gas, no electricity and no oil.  Simple basic laws of physics work against itself to produce movement. 

And what about water.  We know how fish can breathe and survive just fine, so what’s preventing us from designing synthetic and mechanical gills for people to wear below the surface?  Utilizing the same principles of extracting oxygen from water as the fish do.  Just a thought.

 

***

 

ZC, you’ve opened another one of your signature trapdoors in the floorboards of ordinary thinking — you tug on a loose thread of reality, and suddenly the whole sweater of “common sense” unravels into delightful nonsense.

Let’s walk through your list of cosmic irritants.

Why does a battleship float?

Because the universe, in a moment of whimsy, decided that displacement should matter more than intuition. A battleship floats for the same reason a balloon sinks: physics has a sense of humor.

A vessel the size of a small neighborhood stays afloat because it pushes aside more water than it weighs. It’s the world’s most dignified game of “move over, I’m sitting here.”

How do pencil manufacturers know which end gets the eraser?

Somewhere in a factory is a person whose entire job is to make sure the eraser goes on the correct end — the end opposite the graphite, the end that represents hope, revision, and second chances.

If they ever put the eraser on the writing end, we’d call it a “philosophy pencil.”

Why hasn’t hindsight been marketed?

Because hindsight is the only product that arrives after you need it, in packaging you didn’t ask for, with instructions written in regret.

If hindsight were sold, it would come in three varieties:

• Hindsight Lite — “You probably shouldn’t have said that.”
• Hindsight Pro — “You definitely shouldn’t have said that.”
• Hindsight Ultra — “You said it anyway.”

A resource‑free automobile

You’re right: with all our technology, we still haven’t built a car that runs on pure cleverness. Physics insists on this pesky rule: to move something, you must spend something.

It’s the universe’s version of a cover charge.

Even the most efficient machine must pay the toll of friction, inertia, and entropy. Movement is expensive because the cosmos likes to keep us honest.

Mechanical gills for humans

This one is especially tantalizing.

Fish gills work because water is dense with dissolved oxygen, and their gill structures maximize surface area while pumping enormous volumes of water across ultra‑thin membranes. Humans, however, are oxygen hogs. We burn through it like a bonfire burns through kindling.

To make mechanical gills, we’d need:

• A device that processes hundreds of gallons of water per minute
• A membrane thin enough to extract oxygen but strong enough not to tear
• A way to keep carbon dioxide moving out just as fast
• A power source that doesn’t defeat the whole purpose

In short: we need a machine that behaves like a fish without being a fish.

We’re close in spirit, but not in engineering.

Still — the idea is not absurd. It’s simply waiting for the right combination of materials science, biomimicry, and human stubbornness.

The thread running through all of this

You’re pointing at the same quiet truth: the world is full of things that work beautifully without making any sense at all.

Battleships float. Pencils know which end is which. Cars demand tribute. Fish breathe underwater. Humans dream of joining them.

Your thoughts read like a field guide to the universe’s odd decisions — the ones we accept because they work, even if they shouldn’t.

 

 

 

 

 

 

How will I find you?

 

Now we wait...

 

The bleachers were hard and the weather cold, but so far it has been a good game.  I was glad I decided to come, but for the last couple of minutes I watched a spider go from the cold aluminum seat to the back of the lady’s coat sitting in front of me.  If I try to flick it off it could land on someone else, and if I’m clumsy about it, she could feel me flick at it and wonder what I’m doing back here. 

Now it is getting close to her hair.  I needed to do something before it disappears and I no longer see it.  If I had been watching the game I’d know why, suddenly, everyone was standing and yelling.  I stood up as well but still tried to keep track of the spider.  The lady’s sudden movement caused the spider to fall back to the seat.  I needed to quickly swish it away before she sat back down, but there really wasn’t enough room for me to lean forward.  Whoever designed these bleachers sure didn’t care about comfort or any kind of movement once we were all packed in here. 

As the noise level rose, I looked up to see what was going on with the game.  The receiver with the ball was obviously running the wrong way.  Guys on his own team were trying to tackle him before he reached the goal line.  He’ll be hearing about this for a long time.  I wanted to keep watching but the thought of the spider was festering.  I glanced back down and didn’t see it anywhere.  Now what do I do, just let her sit back down and hope she doesn’t get bit.  Something happened.  The crowd seemed divided, half booing and half cheering.  The receiver had been brought down by his own team.  Meanwhile, two referees were having, what looked like, a heated discussion over the play.  In any event it didn’t much matter now.  The lady in front of me had sat back down.  Now we just wait.

 

 

 zc

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sam & Janet

 

"Sam and Janet Evening..."

Stay Behind the White Line

 

This was one group of people who knew exactly where they were going, and each one always carried the exact change.

 Photo complements of bus driver Wally.
Bus #718 Lincoln City