B and L were not picture worthy

 

After it was Art it was part of a sandwich.

He Loves to Eat

 

Sandhill Crane outside my door

your hollow voice I’ve heard before

 

I feed you corn right off the cob

still you ask for more,

 

I made you baked potato

melted butter on the top -

I made a dozen cookies

and still you never stop,

 

You drank my doggy’s water

and tipped my can of beer -

 

You’ve pecked apart my windowsill

trying to be near,

 

I play your favorite movies

Though your taste I do not see –

 

My friends have asked just who’s the pet

Is it you – or is it me?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pass now - I will

 

Try as I might
to pass the course
my Jedi skills
don’t use the Force

I couldn’t raise
My grade at all
Looks like I’ll
be back this Fall

To sit again
with all the rest
who just like me
did fail the test

But Obi-wan
I have a plan
answers written on my hand
It’s only cheating
if I get caught
who needs the force
with answers bought?

 

 

Name that Movie

 

Movie #1

  

                                                                 _________________________________________

Movie #2

Bernadette Peters
plays the trumpet    ________________________

A Goofy Poem

I’d not change places

with a bird -

Me with wings

would be absurd,

 

I eat cookies

and frosted cake -

They eat things

found in the lake,

 

I can speak

and type my words -

They just mutter

"We’re only birds",

 

I’ve a sofa

what’s the chances –

You’d ever see me

sit on branches.

 

 

  (Is there no end to my talent)

Central Ridge Public Library

 

I offered to provide the local library copies of my books, at my expense, to add to their collection, thinking they might be enjoyed by the general public.

Without seeing them or knowing the content, the library sent me an email saying they were not appropriate.  They didn’t fit in.  

Considering 75% of their collection is about murder, and mine are not about murder and do not contain a single swear word, I can see how mine may send the wrong message.

 

It’s good they’re looking out for the public.

 

 

Sadly, this is not a joke.

Why me

 

Just moments before I walked into the meeting, which – by the way, was already at full volume, I noticed something stuck to the bottom of my shoe. 

It was too late to stop or turn around, everyone had already seen me, so I just kept walking in and took a seat around the conference table. 

Jake, up at the whiteboard, kept on with his presentation, while I sat waiting to see if I could smell anything disgusting coming from my shoe.  Hopefully neither of the people sitting on each side of me discover it.  I bet they wouldn’t be shy about announcing the sudden questionable odor. 

I felt the need to look back at the door I had just come through, to make sure I hadn’t left anything behind with each step.  Talk about a dead giveaway.   Yucky footprints leading right to my chair.  There’d be no mistaking who the culprit was.

I had not noticed it but apparently Jake had stopped his talk and asked me to address my part of the topic he just covered.  I had all of the materials with me, I just hadn’t been following along as he was speaking.  The last thing I wanted to do was get up and walk up to the front of the room, especially if I were leaving objectionable footprints.