Wednesday, March 25, 2026

No Moving Parts

 

I have constructed this paragraph with no moving parts.  There is no friction and nothing to wear out.  Consequently, there is nothing to generate any heat.  Nothing requires oil or lubricant and the only squeak would come from you, saying “squeak” out loud as you read this. 

Should you decide to read this several times, then the squeak may become annoying, so it is recommended that reading it only once and to yourself is the preferred method.

This is the first of this kind of project.  Future paragraphs may include moving parts, although nothing has been scheduled at this time.  

 

 Thank you

Z. Corwin

 




No nouns were harmed in the making of this paragraph.



The One Toe Theory

 

I believe there to be a correlation between a person’s age and the temperature of the room they are in.  If an individual is 80 years of age, the room should also be 80 degrees.  The older a person becomes, the faster the heat from their body escapes, leaving them cold and uncomfortable.   

The obvious flaw in this system occurs when several people of varying ages occupy the same room.  Those younger than 80 will find the room to be too warm and very uncomfortable.

Just as people test the water temperature of a swimming pool by sticking one toe in the water to feel it before jumping in, each room should be constructed with a toe chamber, whereby an individual can, before entering the room, insert a single toe into the chamber in order to better know the temperature before walking into the room.

 

This is only one of my great ideas.  I have several others, if you’d care to hear them.

 

 

ZC

Ostrich Race

 


The 4th annual ostrich race was held Saturday
at the Citrus County fair grounds.

Spot, the crowd favorite, crossed the finish
line several steps ahead of Oliver Wobinski
and his rider, Ted Jensen. 



Aspin Dental

 


Now - Pet Friendly.







Disclaimer
Aspin Dental, its subsidiaries, employees and their families or are not responsible or liable for any injuries, mishaps or deaths occurring on or around our offices.  Aspin posters and advertising suggests a reasonable expectation of bodily harm when in the presence of animals, either wild or domestic.  All customers, guests and patients are instructed to keep their hands, feet, arms and heads away from any mouth containing teeth.





Monday, March 23, 2026

Left Off

 


 

Someone had used it as a bookmark, saving their place, remembering where they had left off.  Then, apparently becoming tired of the story, they closed the book and returned it to the library, forgetting completely about their bookmark.

I believe it was weeks later when I came along.  A clever and eye-catching title, I picked the book from the shelf and headed home.  It was then when I was leafing through the pages that I discovered the bookmark.  I wondered if they had ever remembered they had left it in the book. 

What would I have to go through to find the person and return it to them?  Is returning it something I should even do?  Two-dollar bills are unique but not all that rare. They are just different enough to make them fun to discover.  I doubt the library is willing to give out any information about their patrons.  How much trouble would someone go through to track me down?  For two dollars probably not much. 

I’ll have to think about this.  I’ll just tuck this bill into my wallet, so I’ll remember where I left off.



zc



 

 

Alexa

 

I know that she’s listening

I know I should care

Daytime or night

Alexa is there,

 

She nagged and she nagged
until I stopped smoking
She called 9-1-1

When she noticed me choking,

 

She’ll mention the weather
shares with me the news
Then clears her throat

If I reach for the booze,

 

She won’t vacuum the carpet

Or wash up a dish

She’ll not dust a shelf

Or grant me a wish,

 

She can pick out my voice

When I’m in a crowd

There’s no way in Hell
I’d read this out loud,

 

As a friend she is lacking

A companion – so – so

I’m moving away

But don’t let her know.

 

 

 

Sunday, March 22, 2026

Time

 

The dates were in the past, so I pulled the page from the calendar and tossed it into the waste basket.  There was no going back now.  Having just done that, I imagined a wall clock that, as the hands moved around, the part of the clock that was now on the back side of the hands, dissolved.  There was no need to toss out the used up hours, they simply automatically disappeared.   It was as if the sweeping second hand was actually sweeping.  Once again, there would be no going back. 

On a much larger scale, as time sweeps over us, we tend to disappear bit by bit.  Everything about us changes, our hair, our internal systems, our looks change.  No matter if it is a calendar, a wall clock or just us standing here, time does its thing.  We tend to accept this as if it cannot be changed or stopped.  We focus on technology, on gadgets and apps, completely ignoring the elephant in the room. 

Forget, for the moment, theories of relativity, laws of physics and even space exploration, and examine if you will, time and what it is that moves it forward.  Surely there is a driving force, whether we can see it or not, it is there.  It has a speed that does not fluctuate and has no conscience.  Nothing in its path escapes its effects.  But here’s what I’ve discovered, and this is the important part




Sorry.  I'll be right back.