Sky Mall

 

Not that I have a bucket list, but if I did, the first thing I’d like to do is wander through the Sky Mall.  I know they can’t possibly fit everything into their catalog, so I think I could spend days just going up and down the aisles checking things out.  I’d like to reach out and touch the various clouds to see just how fluffy they really are.  Maybe even lick one or two.  I’ve always been curious as to what flavors they are.  Of course I’d be careful, as I wouldn’t want to cloud my judgment.

I imagine they all have little labels sticking out identifying content, and possibly laundry instructions.  Most likely they are all drip dry.

 

 

 ZC

I know the difference

 

        City kids had no cob.  They learned to eat corn right off the can, while cowboys moved very few cattle by subway.

 

        zc

Duck and Cover

 

        Just as the small chipmunk has become adept at noticing the shadow of a circling hawk, I too have learned when it is time to seek shelter. Faced with an impending doctor's appointment, I retreat into a book, ducking for cover into its pages. My mind slips into the safety of an ongoing story, leaving behind, for a little while, the reality of whatever unpleasant activity awaits. There, among fictional troubles and imagined adventures, I can remain hidden, unaffected by scalpel and unfamiliar phrases.

        It is a coping mechanism that becomes more perfected as I age and the frequency of appointments becomes greater.  Unlike the chipmunk’s dive into the depths of a hole, my retreat takes me to the fabricated, yet secure territory of people and places I myself have created. Stories with pleasant outcomes, free of bandages and ice packs.  Where the end isn’t followed by a recovery time.

        The better the book, the more effective the distraction.

 

 

            ZC

Nelson's Day at the Beach

 

There are all kinds of lives taking place in a tidepool. Tiny creatures, most of whom have never gotten detention or a tattoo.  Their entire life has been exposed to the coming and going of the ocean waves.  None of them signed up to be there, that’s just where life put them.  Random acts of gravity and brute force made the decision for them.

Small depressions and partial holes along the rock formations act like little shelters.  These indentations are both their home as well as little serving dishes for the seagulls.

Yes, another cruel side of Mother Nature is dishing up little treats for the birds.  And yet, I’ve not seen any of this in a children’s book.  A colorful illustration of Nelson Crab, walking along, minding his own business, when – WHAM!  A powerful ocean wave picks him up and slams him against a hard rock.  Stunned, his little head spinning, with no clue as to what has just happened or where he is now. 

He reaches his little crab arms out, searching for a grab bar or banister, but there is nothing but the slippery side of rock all around him.  Fortunately, the little hole he landed in is full of fresh, cold ocean water.  Unfortunately, a giant monster with seagull breath has seen him splash down, and with giant orange jaws his disorientation is quickly replaced with crushing pain.  Little Nelson’s lights go out for the last time.

 

The End

Okay, so maybe I see why they didn't want me writing to Hospice patient. 

 

They Didn't Want Me

Having been a writer since the 8^th grade, and enjoying the written word as I do, I volunteered to be a pen pal for the Hospice Organization.  Sending various thoughts to those with limited time seemed a worthy endeavor.   

I answered their questions and filled out their forms and I waited.  That was several months ago.  I would have thought I would hear something, but zip!  Not even a, “Thanks but you’re too strange.” 

As best as I can figure, they looked me up on Google, read my Blog and became frightened, and maybe they're right.  I do tend to ramble on about nothing and everything.

All of the stories and events that appear on this blog started off as little saplings, in pots along the window ledge of my brain.  They were fed bottled water, although not the expensive stuff.  They were given controlled amounts of sunlight and fertilizer on a daily schedule, and I read stories to them, but nothing scary.

 

So, what was wrong with me?  How is it I could fail at being a volunteer?

 

 

 ZC

 

 

2-Sided Business Cards

 

I am forever surprised at what passes for entertainment.  Many find humor at seeing others fall down, while some enjoy the antics of politicians.  I, as you have seen, simply have fun playing with words.  Even the heavier words, like calliope are not gravity prone.  I haven’t encountered any words that are sharp or pointed, have slivers or are flammable.  Fussing with sentences has never required a hard hat, safety glasses or protective gloves.

I have had some slippery ideas get away from me, but the clean-up has been quick and easy.  My hobby has not required renting extra storage facilities, as I only have the one dictionary, and that has always been adequate to hold everything, including any and all required punctuation.  It has proven to be a good hobby for those allergic to exercise or who live in a place that encourages mosquitoes, as it is an indoor activity.  No sunscreen necessary. 

I should mention, however, that there are side effects to continually playing with the written word.  Your verbal skills will diminish, and there will be some who actually believe you know what you’re talking about.  That is not good.  The last thing you want is people looking to you for advice.  Should this happen, hand them your business card, first making sure your price list is on the back.

 

All answers… 5 cents
        Correct answers… $6,500.00
        Directions… $11.50
        Opinion… $12.75

ZC

Respecting the Boundaries

 

After careful consideration, I believe it to be in the best interest of all involved that I not add music for you to listen to while reading this blog.  First off, our taste in music may be drastically different.  Secondly, hearing the same selections over and over would quickly become tedious, and finally, I haven’t a clue as to how to do it.  It is just one more thing that floats out beyond the markers.  

Yes, the roped off area, where it is safe for me to operate, grows smaller and smaller as technology advances.  If the World Wide Web is a body of knowledge, this blog is simply a toe testing my IQ. 

However, there is nothing wrong with sitting on the sidelines.  I occasionally get splashed with tidbits from others taking the plunge.  And, in accordance with the Hitchhiker’s Guide, I always know where my towel is.

 

ZC