BOGO

 

Beak one, get one

This may seem a little drastic

 

but I need to keep the pigeons off my keyboard.

The Line

 

I accept full responsibility.  I and I alone initiated this blog and all its insanity.  I have openly and willfully scattered moronic nonsense across the globe, with little regard for the grammatical decency or literary ethics, if there is such a thing, and if not – there should be. 

I see my stream of consciousness, much as a river, in which one might pan for gold.  I would expect you could occasionally find a nugget of truth along the way, or maybe a random thought poking out along the bank, much like a sharp branch puncturing a passing raft, but not an expensive one, maybe some flimsy one bought online.

You should have returned it the minute you saw how cheap the thing was.  You certainly shouldn’t have taken a ride in it down the river.  What were you thinking?  Now you’re up the creek.  But, Hey!  That’s on you.  I have to draw the line somewhere.

 

 _____________

You have the right...

 

Reading about the law and experiencing its effects are drastically different.   I have experienced first-hand how distorted and manipulated the law can be.

While driving along the freeway at night, I noticed up ahead that there was a police car along the side of the road, and the driver’s door was open and sticking out into my lane just a little.  I moved over to the lane on my left to avoid the door and as I did, the cop car behind me turned on its lights and pulled me over.  The officer said I was weaving. 

I was taken to jail, as the officer assumed I had been drinking.  I had not.

I was released shortly after being put into a cell.  That following week I had to take time off work to go to court.

When the judge called my name, a court appointed lawyer stood up and said, “He pleads guilty, your honor.”

So, I stood up and said, “That’s less than truthful your honor.” 

That’s when the judge said, as he looked at the paperwork in front of him, “I don’t even know why you are here.  There was no alcohol in your system at all.”

Then he looked up at me and said I could get a lawyer and return to fight the case, or I could plead guilty to two illegal lane changes.

As I could not afford to take more time off work, and could never afford a lawyer, I said OK, to  two lane changes.  

He smacked his gavel and said, “$25.00 each.  Pay the clerk on your way out.” 

So for doing nothing wrong, I lost a day’s pay, had to pay $50.00 and my car insurance went up for an entire year.

I discovered later that the money collected goes directly into the judge’s retirement fund.  There was no way they were going to let me out of there without first squeezing everything they could out of me.

 

That is a true story and how my view of American Justice ended up just a little skewed.

 

 

ZC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's the same Potato

 

I’ve noticed that the trend is for restaurants to set their prices between Tolerable and Outrageous.  Those at the Outrageous level pretend to be exclusive, while the Tolerable cater to water drinkers and meal sharers.

Escabeche Tuna
with Aji Verde & Salsa Criolla

Wild Mushroom Parfait

Roasted Qysters

Classic Crab Cake

with a slight Wallet Reduction

ZC

 

 

 

 

Design Flaws

 

I am not a car, so I cannot calculate miles per gallon, however, being a writer it may be possible to figure out how many words I use per year.  Lucky for you, I don’t care, so we’re not doing that.

The more curious thing is how is it that woodpeckers know to look under tree bark for bugs?  Of course, I could take the easy way out and just Google it.  Most likely it would tell me that the insects that live on trees do not wear bedroom slippers, so they are not exactly quiet when walking round.  Consequently, the woodpeckers can hear them clomping about.

You’d think evolution would have given woodpeckers rabbit-sized ears.  But then, if they could hear too good, they would end up eating more and become fat.  That could make it difficult to fly.  Fat birds with rabbit ears.  I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t get a job with the design group.

 

 

A week ago last Wednesday

 

It wasn’t so much that he claimed to be a sorcerer, but his aura was, I thought for a moment there, visible, and a strange aroma hung in the room.  I couldn’t place it, but I can tell you it was thick and very attention getting. 

If I hadn’t been there with my friend, I wouldn’t have stayed.  The place was just a little creepy.  Each of the lamps around seemed to give off just as many shadows as light.  Don’t ask me how that worked, and the music playing in the background wasn’t at all familiar. 

I noticed across the room the sorcerer’s partner, which may have been his wife, I’m not sure, but she most definitely had an illegal smile.  That may have had something to do with the aroma, although I’m not positive.

 

 

 

 ZC