The thing about vending machine coffee isn’t the low quality of the coffee, or the temperature. The problem is when the cup falls at an angle and the coffee then dispenses, hitting the outside of the cup and splashes from there into the drain. Your 20 cents is gone, and you have no coffee. Somewhere, far across town, sits the guy who designed the mechanism that just failed to do its job.
You don’t know his name or have his phone number so you can vent your frustrations. Best case scenario, you punch the vending machine. That’s the only thing you have at the moment to blame.
Here’s the thing, it wasn’t the fault of the mechanism, it is you. Believe it or not, you have a little bit of bad Juju that follows you around. It keeps you from picking the right Lotto numbers, it is what causes the copy machine to run out of paper just as you walk up to it, and the cashier to run out of register receipt paper when it is your turn to check out.
Eventually you realize you are not paranoid; everyone is staring at you. Don’t worry about it. That isn’t anything you can fix. You’ve known it your entire life. This is just the first time anyone has come out and said it out loud.
Unfortunately, bad
Juju eradicator has not yet been supplied to vending machines. It was tried a few years back but the
container designed to capture it kept falling at the wrong angle, spilling the
contents directly into the drain.
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