Weasel Wording

 

Here’s the thing, only one of the companies can be right, or both are wrong.

 

Company A, says that their knives are sharp enough to cut through most anything.

Company B, says their cutting board resists scratches and marks and will not be harmed by knives.

 

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        You’ve walked straight into the church of Marketing Theology, where “sharp enough” and “will not be harmed” are both technically true and spiritually ridiculous.

A few things going on here:

·         Weasel words everywhere:

o    “Sharp enough to cut through most anything” = not a promise, it’s a vibe. “Most anything” is undefined. Bread? Rope? Aluminum can? A brick? They don’t say.

o    “Will not be harmed by knives” = also vague. Which knives? Under what force? For how long? “Resists scratches” is not “cannot be scratched.”

·         Both can be “right” by shrinking reality:

o    The knife company imagines soft, everyday materials and dramatic infomercial stunts.

o    The cutting board company imagines normal kitchen use, not someone trying to carve their logo into it with a chisel.

o    Each is quietly assuming a different test scenario, so they never have to collide.

·         The real world answer:

o    If you actually press a very sharp, hard steel edge into a plastic/wood/composite board with enough force, the board will mark.

o    If you actually try to cut “most anything” (stone, glass, ceramic, hardened steel), the knife will lose.

        So: in a literal, physics-based sense, you’re right—both claims cannot be absolutely true in all conditions. But in the squishy world of advertising, they’re both “true enough” to survive the fine print.