As a writer I’d like a shot at writing my own obituary. The obvious problem is that I would tend to
blabber on and on about the various aspects of who I had been while on Earth,
none of which would rivet anyone to their seat. Mostly my life’s been a snore
fest. Just writing this much and I’m already losing interest. I've never scaled a hot air balloon or walked barefoot through a department store. I haven't yet run my toothbrush under a chocolate fountain and then brushed. I have, with limited success, used a run-on sentence stepped out of the moment and hooked one to the left. Like I said, not all that impressive.
The other part
that I’d like a little creative control over is where on the page it is to
go. Being me – I’d want it above the
fold and I’d like it to run for at least a week or two; none of this one day
stuff just read by apartment hunters and folks at the Senior Center checking for old friends.
Now here’s the important part: What’s to become of the actual obituary
itself? Does it follow the rest of the
newspaper into some land-fill? Is it
used to start some hiker’s campfire, or end up in a grade school papier-mâché
project?
I don’t see that as a very fitting end.
So here is my last request.
Scan my obit and have it be the final post on my blog.
To me – that would say it all.
The end.
On second thought…
The more I think about that paper-Mâché thing the more I
like it. My little obituary could become
part of an entire class project; perhaps a life-size statue of me - Zobostic Corwin,
maybe standing in the town square looking stately. Better yet, sitting in front of a large
paper-Mâché computer, a small brass plaque on the side of my fuzzy house slipper that
says,
Left to Write
The little obit part of the newspaper would be used to form
a small comma somewhere on the monitor.
