Last Request

As a writer I’d like a shot at writing my own obituary.  The obvious problem is that I would tend to blabber on and on about the various aspects of who I had been while on Earth, none of which would rivet anyone to their seat. Mostly my life’s been a snore fest. Just writing this much and I’m already losing interest.   I've never scaled a hot air balloon or walked barefoot through a department store.  I haven't yet run my toothbrush under a chocolate fountain and then brushed.  I have, with limited success, used a run-on sentence stepped out of the moment and hooked one to the left.  Like I said, not all that impressive.

The other part that I’d like a little creative control over is where on the page it is to go.  Being me – I’d want it above the fold and I’d like it to run for at least a week or two; none of this one day stuff just read by apartment hunters and folks at the Senior Center checking for old friends.

Now here’s the important part:  What’s to become of the actual obituary itself?  Does it follow the rest of the newspaper into some land-fill?  Is it used to start some hiker’s campfire, or end up in a grade school papier-mâché project?

I don’t see that as a very fitting end.

So here is my last request.  Scan my obit and have it be the final post on my blog.

To me – that would say it all.

The end.

 

 

On second thought…

 

The more I think about that paper-Mâché thing the more I like it.  My little obituary could become part of an entire class project; perhaps a life-size statue of me - Zobostic Corwin, maybe standing in the town square looking stately.   Better yet, sitting in front of a large paper-Mâché computer, a small brass plaque on the side of my fuzzy house slipper that says,

 

Left to Write

 

The little obit part of the newspaper would be used to form a small comma somewhere on the monitor.