Dear Lawyers

 

You studied hard and passed the bar and now have been released into the wild.

You walk amongst us, dressed as would a professional.

You speak in complete sentences and articulate clearly your intentions.

You have the appearance of a normal person.  At social gathering you blend in.

It is only when you are in a running motion, breathing heavy, sweating to catch up to the ambulance that we can actually see your scales.

In your effort to warn and caution people of possible hazards, you have forced drug manufacturers to use over-sized pill bottles just so the warning labels can accommodate all potential situations, in every language.

It is because of you, the cost of a new car far exceeds people’s ability to buy one.

Your actions have altered children’s toys to the point of giving choking hazards a bad name.

Smokers no longer feel free to strike a match without first closing the cover.

As a result of your actions, the technology now required to buckle-in an amusement ride participant cost the same as strapping an astronaut into a space capsule.

Over time, you have stretched and manipulated the English language to such a degree that someone must hire another lawyer just to read what you have written.

You have made it to be the case that doctor’s offices are now run by insurance companies.

Lawyers have become so toxic and abrasive that now – in addition to fences around law schools, they have sneeze guards.

 

 

 

The Company Picnic

 

The shadow of the hawk glided swiftly, effortlessly, and silently over branches, picnic tables and the volleyball net.  Nobody noticed, or if they did, they didn’t give it a second thought, until Lulu’s whimper seemed to be coming from overhead.

    (Not sure where I'm headed with this one yet).

 

 

Stage Fright

 

Turn the doorknob left or right,

I wonder should I tug or lean –

The window tells me day or night

The music for me sets the scene,

Other actors know their lines

It is quite rare they miss their mark –

Someone didn’t move the chair

I stumble blindly in the dark,

A muffled chuckle from the crowd

Then lively laughter fills the air

Houselights on, so all can see

This clumsy actor laying there.

 

Mother Nature's Sneeze

 

Outdoor Concert

 

None of them had gone to school

they all played an instrument

collectively impressive

and somewhat overwhelming.

The night brought out the best in them

after a rain and under a blanket of stars

their music flooded the hillsides

amazing how they could all stop on cue

I wondered just who was orchestrating

this insect world.

This Stinks

 

I enjoy watching the large, white birds fly majestically over the lake.  They make it look as if they’ve never studied aerodynamics, lift or drag.  How is it they make flight appear as though they do it without even thinking?  Surely, they have mastered gravity, something Mankind fails at on a daily basis.  Why we’re at the top of the food chain I’ll never know.

We’re calling this one Saturday.  We do that.  We name things.  Did you ever notice how a baby holds tight to its blanket, a small child will never let go of its stuffed animal and old folks cling tight to their religion.  Everyone wants to hold onto something.  Office types and factory workers hang on to weekends.  It is what gets them through the week.

What, you may ask, does any of this have to do with flying?  Well, hold on and I’ll tell you.  Majestic, white birds hold on to nothing.  They push off with their legs, stretch out their wings and off they go.  They never look back.  They don’t carry anything with them.  They have no purse, no wallet, no bag of groceries.  It’s just their wings and the sky.  No possessions, no security blanket, no college degree, just the air and the hope of catching a fish.  Hey, birds gotta eat.

Which brings me to the point of all this.  What’s in it for the fish?  This doesn’t really seem fair somehow.  The poor fish, just swimming along, minding its own business, when who should be passing overhead but some lazy bird, who never went to flight school, can’t carry a purse or a tune and suddenly swoops down and snatches up the unsuspecting fish.  If you ask me, this whole thing stinks.

They're not all gems