I don’t know if this is true or not, but someone once told
me that whenever Shakespeare wasn’t writing plays, he wrote Country Western
songs.
Some of his more famous were, she’s got the rhythm – I got
the blues. And who could forget, she’s
acting single - I’m drinking doubles?
I had no idea he’d written that.
Impressive.
I could take only one thing.
Justice
hides behind excuses.
Greed
interrupts.
Duty
stands in line
holding a number.
Trust
is flexible.
Honesty
is harsh.
Caution
appears weak.
Weakness
is never justice.
I am the glass doorknob.
I currently reside inside this wooden crate, along with a variety of
lessor knobs, and handles. During my
day, I sparkled and opened a door that only a privileged few could enter. Never, however, did any stranger grab me. It was always just William, the doorman. William and I go back years. Boy, the stories I could tell you.
Now, resting quietly within this antique shop, I seem
unimportant, common. I have been tossed
aside with no more value than a picket fence without a yard. Most of the items here in the shop aren’t impressed
when I mention who I let enter. I guess
that isn’t so important anymore.
I know that table lamp over there thinks she’s hot
stuff. She came in with those end tables
and that pedestal ashtray. Personally, I
don’t care for the fringe around her shade.
It’s just a little gaudy if you ask me.
She thinks she’s so bright. A bit
of a smart aleck, I’d say.
I don’t think anyone has ever heard a peep from the ashtray. He just stands there, not even looking
around. He seems so sad. Maybe ashamed of what he is, of what he stood
for all those years. Surrounded by thick
clouds of smoke, covered in ash… what’s there to be proud of? I’d be willing to bet, however, that he’s
heard some juicy gossip, back-room deals, maybe even government secrets. I don’t see anyone buying him anytime soon.
I hear customers sometimes saying there is a musty smell in
here. I, of course, can’t smell
anything, but based on the age of this store, it probably does have some kind
of odor. I’ve never seen anyone mopping
the floor. They are old, wooden floors,
that squeak under the weight of the people walking around. The windows are never opened. I doubt the owner has ever considered letting
some fresh air in here. Boy, wouldn’t
that be nice. Fresh air and sunlight,
even for just an hour. How nice would
that be?
Well, I see little Mrs. Snooty lamp has been marked down. I wonder what kind of spin she’ll put on that.
Hey! That large
painting is gone. That’s a shame, I
liked that picture. It always reminded
me of something… I forget what, but I
always got a good feeling looking at it. The colors were warm and inviting, and
it always looked so familiar. I can
almost think of what it reminded me of.
Nuts, that’s going to fester.
What was that?
The little bell over the front door just tinkled. Someone is coming in. Maybe someone looking for a glass
doorknob. Who knows? Never mind. I’m not holding my breath.
Saturday – a week ago, just after closing, the
pedestal ashtray spoke to us.
“I’m sorry, I haven’t been very friendly.” No one else said anything, but Mrs. Snooty
lamp clicked her light on.
“Actually, until now,
I didn’t really know if I should say anything or not.”
Still, no one else spoke.
“I used to be in a private club. Only members were allowed in. It really was very exclusive. The thing is, I was always in a position to
see things, and especially to hear things.
I always knew what was going on, who was in favor, who owed money to whom,
and so on”.
Everything in the old antique shop was listening. This was amazing. The ashtray was spilling his guts. Of course, none of us knew why all of a sudden
he decided to talk, but that didn’t matter.
Everyone was hanging on every word.
“From what I can tell, it all started with a Lotto
ticket. As best as I can tell, it was
folded in with a twenty-dollar bill that was handed to the doorman as a tip.
William, the doorman noticed it right away and tried to hand
it back to the gentleman who had handed it to him, but the man refused to take
it back. William ended up getting 11 million
from the state lotto commission.”
I couldn’t help it, I had to speak up. “I knew William. I was the glass doorknob he used for all
those years.”
“Then you must have missed him. He was in here the other week and bought the
painting that was hanging on that wall over there.”
It was then I suddenly remembered where I had seen that
painting before. It had hung in the club
for years.
to be continued
She was to be used as the product’s spokesperson, but she couldn’t remember her lines, her voice was high and squeaky, and she was terribly shy.
Uncoordinated, she dropped the product each time during their
attempt to film it.
Finally, due to cost and schedule issues, the frustrated director put an X on the sidewalk outside of the studio. 6 feet away he taped another X. He gave the little girl simple directions.
Hold this so we can see the label, and walk from this
X to that X. We will snap your picture
as you’re walking.
At that point, a loud crack of thunder could be heard, and
it began to rain like crazy.
“Someone give the kid an umbrella. We’re doing this.”
and the picture was taken.
I have accidently pushed the tab key in my brain, now I find
myself starting things just a tad later than I normally would. Everything I do seems just a bit moved over.
People have often told me I was a little off, but they were saying
that long before I pushed the tab key.
I can mostly blend in when I’m in a crowd. Most people are so interested in what they
have to say, that by the time I’ve caught up to the conversation there have
been adequate lulls to cover my non-participation.
Some, of course, just assume that I’m one of those quiet
types. Maybe not so much shy, as just boring.
Sometime, if I don’t really care about the subject at hand, I focus on
the things I do enjoy. For example, I
really like the blue color of peanut M&M’s.
I wouldn’t mind having a Mustang that color. I’d want it to be a 5.0 V-8, manual shift,
and as long as were dreaming, I’d like it to come with a 100,000 bumper to
bumper warranty.
But I digress. I
really need to figure out how to undo my mental tab. Unlike my computer, I haven’t any undo key
stroke, and I’ve not yet encountered human white-out.
That, however, would be for mistakes. So far my only mistake has been that stupid
tab key.
Any thoughts?
