No Internet

 

That was the message at the top of my screen.  Suddenly I felt cut-off from the world.  Friends and family were gone, hackers couldn’t reach me, I was alone.  It felt cold and eerily quiet.  I could feel the internal thumping of my heart.  Is this what it was like before the Internet - just nothingness?

I went to the front door and stepped out into the darkness of the early morning, and away from the vacant glow of the monitor.

I walked along the deserted road, woods on either side of me.  Each woodland sound set me on high alert.  Would a wild boar charge me from out of the shadows?  Had the gators come up from the lake to snag a rabbit but now could see me instead?  Had I plunged myself into a nightmare?  And what about spell-check?  Had I left that behind as well?  Now THAT's scary.

Suddenly I felt foolish.  I should turn and head back,  play solitaire until the Internet and my sanity returns.

You go ahead and wait here.  This could take a while.

 

 

According to This...

 

 

It is the permit that needs to be

Disabled.

Oops!

 

Larry suddenly knew he forgot to set

the parking break when his rig started rolling

into the lake.

A Bagel & Cream Cheese

 

I stood on the deck of my boat with a fog bank just ahead.  It seemed to be thicker than a swarm of flies at a wake.  My boating skills not exactly noteworthy, I began to panic, like a one-armed man trying to separate eggs.  My hands were on the wheel, my heart in my throat and my goodness how did I get myself into this mess?

I decided I just wouldn’t take the boat out today, so I stepped back onto the dock and walked back up to the diner.  I knew the short-order cook was on duty and what I wanted for breakfast wasn’t much.  My order indeed would be short.  

It was just a greasy spoon, but I sent it back anyway and asked for a clean one.  As the waitress brought my glass of water I noticed she was holding the glass from the top edge, her fingers draped over the lip.  That was one of my pet peeves. It was the same waitress that had just made the trip back to the kitchen with my dirty spoon, so when I complained about her grubby mitts being all around the drinking portion, she pulled out something from her apron pocket, tossed it onto the table and said; “That’s the last straw.”

The lawn guy showed up yesterday and sprayed for pests.

I thought I stood far enough away to be unaffected by the chemicals

but after reading what I just wrote above, I think I better stop here

and maybe have some coffee.  Hopefully I won't get the same waitress.

 

Cars of Gabardine

 

Somewhere in finagle

far from Google’s brain

nowhere near the forecast

where they predicted rain,

Tucked inside a catalog

tell you what I found

A world so void of corners

Rubik’s cubes are round.

A catalog of Christmas

high gloss every page

batteries included

for toys that are the rage,

Things you never thought of

stuff that no one needs

dressed in brilliant colors

Gabardine and tweeds,

Cargo space from SUV’s

packed in Frigidaire’s

A military flashlight

that plugs into the air,

No one pays for shipping

and nothing that needs gas

we’ll get it there by yesterday

of course –

while supplies last.

 

 

 

RJM

 

How we remember you.

Distraught and Morose

 

Her attempt to end it all at the beach

failed when her wheelchair battery died 

just before reaching the cliff.