This just might do it

She was so tired of all the junk mail

that she hired a carpenter to put in a

smaller mail chute. 

The Signal

He was to let us know how many pies

we were to smuggle in.

A 6 Foot Fence

Not that long ago we lived next door

to the tallest cat ever.

She would stand up on her hind legs

and just watch us.

Just Because

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Quantum Mechanics:  the dreams stuff is made of.

Everyone has a photographic memory.  It's just some don't have any film.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

How do you tell when you've run out of invisible ink?

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Corduroy pillows:  They're making headlines.

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

I went to the paint store to get thinner.  It didn't work.

None of these are mine, but they made me laugh.

Kept them Both

Fetch

Still one of my favorites.

Amazing

Many complain there's nothing to watch -

Several simply enjoy the reruns -

There are a few who'll watch anything

even the commercials -

I'm amazed by how it gets here.