My adventure with your product

 

Dear Nature’s Intent,

Your product saved my life.  Okay, I should start at the beginning.  I purchased a bag of your delicious dark chocolate enrobed mandarins, while picking up a few pet supplies at Alaska Garden & Pet Supply.  My cat, Trigger, over the last few days, seemed a bit morose, for some reason, I’m not sure why.

 

While in the store, two masked individuals, seemingly up to no good, were seen stuffing dog treats and various cat toys into their coat pockets.  I assumed they were reluctant to pay for these items, so I casually mentioned it to the lady at the counter.

 

I thought I had been using my indoor voice but one of the aforementioned individuals heard the words, Trigger happy, and apparently misunderstood our conversation completely.  I should mention here that neither myself nor the lady at the counter, no wait, I can’t really speak for the counter lady. 

Let me just say, I did not have any weapons whatsoever.  They, however, the two questionable suspects, suddenly assumed I did.

One of them ducked behind a Friskies display, while the other suddenly reached inside his coat.  Having seen several cops and robbers’ shows on television, I instinctively knew he was reaching for a gun.  Using my cat-like moves, I quickly flung my 17.6-ounce bag of dark chocolate enrobed mandarins towards him.  It was the edge of the package that provided the paper cut that was enough of a distraction for Everet Grant, the off-duty deputy, who just happened into the store, to reach around the subject and stop him from pulling out, was not a gun at all, but a squeaky hamburger dog toy.

 

It was a familiar squeak to everyone there, and we all had a good chuckle.  As I was in a hurry to get back to Trigger, I didn’t hang around to hear what happened to the two male suspects, but I thought you should know how your dark chocolate enrobed mandarins saved the day.

 

Respectfully,

Bitsy  & Trigger
(Loyal fan of these tangy treats)