Don't park your bike in the hallway

 

When I’m trying to be quiet is when I end up tripping over the drum set, striking my head against the cymbals.  I can go to great lengths to avoid making noise, then by gently setting my coffee cup on the counter, I accidentally knock the spoon into the stainless-steel sink. (Can you hear me now?)

The only true way I’ve found to be quiet is to sit motionless but even then, my stomach growls, at what seems loud enough to wake the entire apartment complex.

As soon as I hear the baby upstairs crying, I no longer worry about walking around softly in my slippers.  Once the kid starts, all bets are off.

I’m not sure who first had the idea of creating an apartment complex.  One building housing several families.  Without soundproof walls and floors, it’s all very silly.  Noise travels, just as cooking smells and gunshots.

It’s the sound of breaking glass that tends to raise the most red flags.  Also, the volume of televisions seems to very depending on the age of the renters.  Young people play their music very loud, while seniors blast their TV programs loud enough to wake the you-know-what.

That’s the other thing, people living on their own that quietly pass away are never discovered until the aroma in the hallway grabs everyone’s attention.  By then, it takes more than a fan to exchange the old air for new.

 And someone needs to tell 11B that leaving a bicycle in the hall is a fire department violation.  That's all I'm saying about that.