Skip (Skippy) White Owl

 Today, the University of Michigan
erected a statue in honor of Skip,
the oldest native American Wolverine.

        Skip White Owl had, all of his life, heard about the sneaky and low-life dealings of the white man.  The great elder of his tribe would tell of the shenanigans the white man would do to avoid honoring a treaty they had just signed, everything from using disappearing ink to reporting that the dog had eaten the document, and no one could remember what it said.

      

       He would watch with great sadness as his people would be cheated out of their land, time and time again.  It seemed he’d no sooner get settled into a new school, making new little friends, and the U-Haul trucks would return to pack up their tents and fire rings.  Always on the move but forever plotting his revenge.  He would get a law degree and fight the white man in his own courtroom.

 

       With barely enough credits to transfer from Chippewa High, he eventually was accepted at the University of Michigan.  With his language as his major stumbling block, he didn’t do well at all during his sophomore year, but the football coach said he could see a fight in Skip that would translate very well out on the playing field, and so Skip became a Wolverine.

 

       With two winning seasons under his belt, (which was actually just a rope) everyone was taking notice of his superior athletic ability.  On occasion the coach would move him to the quarterback position.  Skip noticed that when the other team got into a huddle, it was as if they were pulling all their wagons into a circle.  “They know we’re about to attack.” he’d say, but none of his teammates could understand a thing he said so they all just formed a line and when the ball was hiked, they’d run up the middle and fall down.

 

       By the time graduation rolled around, Skip had learned enough English that he finally understood that  the sue nation he wanted to join was spelled completely differently and had nothing at all to do with the court system.  It was a sad time for Skippy, having spent all that time learning about torts and weasel wording tactics.

 

       Not wanting Skip White Owl to feel duped or cheated, the university erected a marble statue of him, and it stands today on the North side of the Administration building.  It has been hinted at, however, that that piece of land has recently been allocated to another project and Skip will be relocated to the far corner of the East gate, just left of the compact parking spots.