It's only a matter of time

 

Obviously, we are easily distracted, for someone has seen fit to design, build and market kitchen timers.  Mine is plastic, takes up very little counter space and is simple to operate.  I manually turn the dial to the desired amount of time, say… 40 minutes.

The moment I do that it starts to tick off each passing minute.  The ticks are loud enough to be heard over the general hum of the refrigerator.  When it reaches 40 minutes there is an even louder ding.  That’s it.

If, for example, you had placed a cake in the oven and the directions on the box said to bake at 350° for 35 to 40 minutes, then no matter what activity you were engaged in at the time, that loud ding would remind you that it was time to check the cake.

This, however, is not what I want to talk about.  The more pressing sounds coming from the kitchen come from that pesky refrigerator.  At times it sounds as if it is about to blast off into space.  Other times it sounds as if a Model T is doing doughnuts around the kitchen island.

So concerned was I that I consulted the owner’s manual.  The manufacturers, aware of their low manufacturing standards, saw fit to put a note right in the manual.  “This refrigerator makes noise. Don’t call us.”

On the surface, this may not seem like such a drastic issue, however, the assortment of sounds doesn’t just happen during the day.  They continue throughout the night.  They take place on weekends, during funeral services, wedding receptions and while a séance is taking place in the dining room.  (Not that those happen a lot).

I guess I should only be concerned when it stops making noise.  When it finally dies, I’ll have only so much time to buy a new one and swap the contents.  As long as I can keep from opening the door, the cold should last long enough to make the exchange.  I’ll set the timer.