I can't explain it

 

It isn’t a good feeling when you can’t tell if your landing gear is down or not.  As the runway is zipping along just a few feet beneath you there is a point when you  must trust that things will work out.

Have I done everything right?  Is my life in order?  There’s no time to make another pass at it, you just have to go for it, and you set her down.

That’s when you notice that you have started breathing again.

I’ve noticed there are situations in life I have gone through that, at the time, I wasn’t really present.  I’m not sure how to explain it.  I was there, for sure, but apparently not completely, because after the event, whatever it was, I mentally rejoined the proceedings.   It’s like I can look back at it, as if I were looking out of a car window as I just passed by something along the side of the road.

“Okay, that was Leukemia and now I’m past that, I’ll get on with my life.”

Something takes me temporarily out of the picture and now it’s OK to land.  I can feel myself breathing again.