The Green Dodge

 

          The story you are reading is true.  It took place in San Diego, California, in 1978.  Our street, Prospect Avenue had a minor slope to it and back then it wasn’t a very busy street at all.  The City of Santee was beginning to grow and housing developments were competing with the dandelions for their piece of the countryside.

 

          Our neighbor and the owner of the green Dodge was a single mother named Diane.  Our encounters with her consisted of lending her various things each time she showed up at the door.  Usually food items but on occasion she would ask our advice or opinion on whatever was the issue of the day. 

 

          Once she had come home late only to find her front door wide open.  She came to our house and asked if I would go in and search each room to make sure no one was in there.  And once she came over and asked how she could get rid of her green Dodge.  It no longer worked and now just sat out at the curb, quietly rusting.  Had there been an intruder in her house I would have been more successful at getting rid of him than I was at removing the green Dodge.

 

          Of course once I had accepted the challenge of assisting her in the removal of the car, I couldn’t give up.  It became quite a challenge.  I’ll explain.

 

          Back in 1978 the City decided that junk cars could no longer be put into landfills.  Hazardous material (Asbestos) was in the roof linings, in the seats, and throughout the various pockets of quieting insulation.  This didn’t even take into consideration the remaining oil and gasoline, on which the removal of, California has written volumes.

 

          It didn’t take me long at all to run into several brick walls.  Junk yards wouldn’t take it, towing companies refused to haul it away, and phone calls and letters to the Mayor were treated with a standard form letter explaining how sorry they were but how compliance to the law meant that the green Dodge had to stay right where it was.

 

          It was the, Compliance to the Law, which caught my attention.  I knew that as massive and convoluted as the California laws were, there must be a contradictory law in there as well.  I began to search, dig and question in an effort to find it.  What I came up with (if I don't say so myself) was brilliant, although what followed, you’ll never believe.

 

          Remember I mentioned that Prospect Avenue had a bit of a downhill slope to it?  Well as rain and water from people washing their cars and watering their lawns ran along the gutter it came to a halt when it hit the rear tire of the green Dodge.  The tire was right up against the curb causing a tiny dam.  This resulted in a constant puddle of standing water right behind the Dodge and in front of my driveway. 

 

          I called the Environmental Protection Agency, (EPA) and reported that there were small children passing this standing water as they walked to school.  I also reminded them that it is just this type of water that breeds mosquitoes.  Now what could be more hazardous than this?  Innocent, little toddlers carrying their crayon drawings home to show Mom, and ZAP!  a swarm of bloodthirsty mosquitoes attack them. 

 

          My thinking here was that the EPA would force the City of Santee to remove the green Dodge.  Much to my dismay, however, the EPA sent Carlos out to treat the standing water for mosquito larva, which he did.  Then Carlos followed up his visit with a formal letter informing me that the standing water had been treated and was now safe.

 

          It wasn’t until years later that we heard that a fellow across the street and down a few houses bought the green Dodge from Diane.  He took what parts he wanted from it and then buried the rest of the entire car in his back yard. 

 

          I won’t tell if you don’t.