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Forgotten Chair

Once, when crossing my room

A twinge - of impending doom

In the dark I don’t see

What’s in front of me -

So I stop - then slowly resume.

 

Was that just a snore that I heard?

She claims that she don’t – that’s absurd

To my left is the door

Just a little bit more

But a chair got in the last word.

 

Oh what can you stub but a toe?

The pain such a long way to go

it zips up your leg

Goes around Winnipeg

And comes out of your mouth

as an OH!

 

zc
 



The Tractor Beam

To them it was a mighty ship.  With their young imaginations they quickly envisioned its many missions across the galaxy.  They pictured it once having massive battle guns mounted along its sides and winning battle after battle with them in charge.

As they took turns sitting in the Captain’s seat they would close their eyes and see the stars and planets whizzing past.  They were at light speed and could almost feel the mighty ship shake from the stress.

Of course there were dents and bruises here and there; battle scars from their many adventures, but their faith in the old ship was strong and she had never failed them.

Maybe one day they would fix her dents and replace her paint but that would have to have approval from Starfleet. 

 

  

 

 

and lately Starfleet had been in a mood.

Communication - Here & Hereafter

I have noticed long stretches of time when there are no squirrels, chipmunks or birds at my backyard feeders.  I always wonder what’s taking place at those times.  Is it something that’s communicated and agreed upon between the critters?  Is it weather related?  Perhaps they’re like my cat and are simply boycotting the fact that I bought food that was on sale.

I find it quite curious and it seems to highlight just how much I don’t know about nature.  We know that birds understand bird communication and bugs understand bug communication, but are there really hard and fast lines drawn between species when it comes to talking?

This whole thought process comes at a time when I have just immersed myself in the Catlin Doughty book, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, and followed that up with the John Edward book, Crossing Over.

As of today I’m not 100% sold on the idea of being able to communicate with the hereafter.  I find it an enjoyable topic, I guess because it isn’t something I have experienced first-hand, although I have had a few experiences I cannot explain. 

It just seems that the communication line drawn between us and the dearly departed is not moveable or up for discussion.  It’s there and most of us don’t get to cross it. 

I’m not ruling out the possibility that those in the hereafter are getting fresher and tastier snacks and we’re not supposed to know it, much like the squirrels, chipmunks and birds eating the good stuff over in my neighbor's yard.

Maybe we, the living, are being fed the older bread that's been cast upon the water.

Ralph’s 3.18

 

 

 

 

 

I'm just asking...

Why isn’t this considered price fixing?

One week Coke is on sale - then the following week Pepsi is on sale.  They alternate every week throughout the year.

Why isn’t this considered price fixing?

Escaping The City

In a voice no louder than this

she listened in hopes of a clue –

                                                                                               

In the darkness a dangerous tryst                                                

she saw nothing and knew what to do.

 

Armed with forth-right intent

to the edge of the lake did she go –

 

Leaving prints of which way she went

so those who were looking would know.

 

Climbing into the boat that was docked

she quietly pushed from the shore –

 

Ever gently the boat and her rocked

as she paddled away with an oar.

 

To the top of the valley on foot –

she climbed with a stick and a cap,

 

Was there nothing with up she would put

exhausted, she took a short nap.

 

The night sky exploded with stars –

the silence was deafening too,

 

Except for the bugs not in jars –

and snorts from those passing through.

 

Far from the city she grinned

no neighbors, no problems abound –

 

Though the air was remarkably thin -

and not good for sleeping – the ground.

 

All cranky and soggy with dew –

at dawn when she finally arose,

 

Clothes wrinkled and hairdo askew –

freezing right down to her toes.

 

She longed for a latte to sip –

and a muffin with strawberry jam,

 

And knew from the city she slipped –

where I belong is not where I am.

 

 zc

 

 

 

 

 

 

Up and Down



I wouldn't expect

A brick tree house

would attract a tree frog. 

 

 

 

but it did.

The Farmer's Almanac says

 

Get your bulbs in early.

 

 



When trying to catch a plumber...

 

You need to set a trap.



Free Gift (as if gifts normally cost you something)

It is a skillful and deceptive art with which an advertiser threads the connection linking their product to a name or establishment that conjures up a positive, trusted image.  "Laboratory tested", “9 out of 10 Doctors…" are just two samples of these thin threads that are stretched taut between half-truths.

Compare the new truck shown on television, easily scaling a mountain with a full payload, against the fine print in the warrantee or examine the smiling lady pulling off a section of Cling Wrap in her TV kitchen, and then attempt to just as easily tear off a piece of Cling Wrap for yourself. 

The World is completely covered with these thin threads.  They spew out from your television and radio like Silly String from an aerosol can.   American advertising is on par with a crowded Baghdad flea market, loaded with pickpockets, lies and laced with a catchy little jingle.

Examine a photograph of ice cream in a magazine.  Look closer.   Yes, its mashed potatoes.  Buy a brand new weed whipper and see if you can keep it working as long as the guy in the commercial does. 

As parents struggle to teach their children right from wrong, good from evil, there is a counter force wrapping them like mummies with exaggerations, feeble promises and misguided trusts.  Truth in advertising is as difficult to find as honesty in politics.   Real Estate disclosure laws grew out of feisty legal battles, highlighting that omissions are just as deceptive as falsehoods.

As we allow these deceptive threads to become an accepted practice around the globe, we abandon any hope of a united front, leaving the survival of honesty to the very people selling us that which they announce to be free.

Shakespeare proclaimed the pen to be mightier than the sword.  I proclaim that when wielded by advertisers our children suffer subliminal wounds that cannot be sutured with silver threads or golden needles. 

Leaving you with a little mental jingle…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Too Little - Too Late

 

I wouldn't have been a good photo-journalist.

 

My captions seem a bit snarky.

 

 



Lewis Carroll

 

"O Oysters", said the Carpenter,

"You've had a pleasant run!

Shall we be trotting home again?"

But answer came there none -

And this was scarcely odd, because

They'd eaten every one.

 

 

 

and then they had dessert.

 

 



It Pays to ......

 

Advertise

 

 

 

The problem is when you stand right in front of their store

you can't read their sign.

 

 



Day and Night

The spider built his home where he knew there would be a lot of traffic.

He knew he could count on the light to draw in food and he knew the timer would make it come on every night.

He understood there was but one exit and he stood guard over that.

He also understood the heat of the light would keep him warm in the winter and the glass walls would protect him from the wind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Antique Snail Mail

 

 

 



Very Old Tweets

 

 



The Bird Beneath the Swamp

 

 

The bird beneath the swamp

looked a lot like me

and was waiting for a fish to come by

or some frog not paying attention.

 

I don’t remember having a twin

or even a brother –

Mom never said anything.

 

After a while I couldn’t really tell

if he was following me around

or if I just happened to be going to

the same places he was.

 

I don’t think he was all that smart –

we’d always go for the same fish

but I’d be the one to come up with it.

 

Although one time I did happen

to see him chewing the same time

I was.

 

 

 

 

 

 



Side Pocket - Population 1547

Side Pocket was an odd, little town with quirks and characters, diners and dashboard dice.  The music on the one jukebox was worn out yet still played everyone’s favorites.

The judge came into town every three months, so if your timing was off and you got picked up right after he left, it was a guarantee you’d spend 90 days on the inside until he returned.

The jury deliberation room was on the roof - mostly because they didn’t allow smoking in the courthouse; so on the rooftop you could smoke, drink and decide someone’s fate all while attempting a bank shot.

Larry never did hold up the A&P, but having spent 90 days waiting around for his day in court - it kind of changed him. 

He was acquitted in short order but always seemed just a little surly after that.    

 

 

 

What?  You thought I was making this stuff up?

 



Free Rides

 

Tilt-a-Squirrel

 

 



It wasn't in the Guide Books.

 

It was more like a barn than a B&B.

 

Each room locked from the outside…

 

There were bars on the windows…

 

And supposedly the spirit of a bygone chicken walks the halls at night.

 

 



Where Once Were Cobblers

 

 

 

 

Passing through a department store I noticed

an odd selection of footwear.

 

It made me wonder if it was designs like these

that caused cobblers to become extinct.