I’ve often thought that if I had standard house building
bricks it would be fun to see how high I could stack them. Just a single brick sitting on a perfectly
flat surface and then a second brick placed on top of the first brick,
edges lined up square so if you were looking at it from the top down all you’d
see is one brick. Then, of course, I’d carefully
place the third brick, and so on. In the
absence of wind it would seem that I should be able to stack them extremely
high. The challenge being me; how would
I elevate myself in order to keep stacking the bricks? I’m guessing scaffolding would be required at
the beginning. Later, perhaps, a large
crane hoisting me up long enough to place the next brick on top, then lowering
me down to retrieve a brick and then hoisting me up again. This could become quite expensive, depending
upon the cost of the crane, the crane operator and the seemingly endless supply
of bricks. At some point the weight of
all the stacked bricks might crush the bottom brick, causing the entire stack
to topple. Or maybe it wouldn’t be the bottom brick to give out but simply the
weakest brick in the stack, sort of like the weakest link in a chain. For the purposes of my mental ramblings,
however, let’s assume there to be no weak bricks and therefore no
toppling. Once I exceeded the reach of
the massive crane I might consider the use of a remote control drone. Then, after reaching the distance where the
remote control drone no longer works I would employ the use of a windless
helicopter. I like the idea of a
windless helicopter, although I don’t believe they have been invented yet, so I
would put up a sign next to my stack of bricks saying that the project was on
hold until a windless helicopter could be invented. Hopefully this break in the action would
allow me to have a rest from brick stacking, and besides, no one is really
paying me to do this, and I should have worn gloves. Yikes. OK, so I’ve been thinking, maybe I should have
dug a very deep hole with a small platform and pulley system. That would have allowed me to start my stack,
not at the Earth’s surface, but much, much lower. Then, when appropriate, like now – when I’ve
nothing to do but wait for the helicopter designers to do their thing, I could
be raising the stack, bringing the platform up, even with the Earth’s surface, making
my stack of bricks that much higher. Now
I wish I had thought of that before I started this whole thing. Okay, I’m back now. The windless helicopter has been invented and
I have petitioned the Government for its use, explaining my project in full and
in triplicate. They sent out their
inspectors and I ended up with several more Government forms to fill out. While I was waiting for their decision, OSHA
showed up and said that my brick stacking project was unsafe. They had charts and official-looking drawings
showing the potential hazardous zones, and the inevitable
fragment patterns that would follow any collapse. They wanted me to
build a containment area, complete with warning signs, some in color, most
quite graphic, and in several languages. They further indicated
that should my stack of bricks extend into a flight path I would have to put a
flashing red warning light on the upper most brick. The power source for the light was not discussed;
however they did say a hefty fine would be assessed should it go out. I should mention here that the media has not
been missing during all of this; in fact, through their reporting of my
project several private investors have come forward, as well as a few wannabe
sponsors. So far I have not entertained
any offers; however, I have not yet heard what the hourly rate is going to be
for the windless helicopter should they decide to let me use it. There was one mystery company that
offered me the use of what they referred to as, A Self-Illuminated Brick that I might use for the top. It glows bright red and will never die out. They did also mention that when
handling it I should most definitely wear gloves.
I am still awaiting a decision on the use of the helicopter.
