One Brick Short

I’ve often thought that if I had standard house building bricks it would be fun to see how high I could stack them.  Just a single brick sitting on a perfectly flat surface and then a second brick placed on top of the first brick, edges lined up square so if you were looking at it from the top down all you’d see is one brick.  Then, of course, I’d carefully place the third brick, and so on.  In the absence of wind it would seem that I should be able to stack them extremely high.  The challenge being me; how would I elevate myself in order to keep stacking the bricks?  I’m guessing scaffolding would be required at the beginning.  Later, perhaps, a large crane hoisting me up long enough to place the next brick on top, then lowering me down to retrieve a brick and then hoisting me up again.  This could become quite expensive, depending upon the cost of the crane, the crane operator and the seemingly endless supply of bricks.   At some point the weight of all the stacked bricks might crush the bottom brick, causing the entire stack to topple. Or maybe it wouldn’t be the bottom brick to give out but simply the weakest brick in the stack, sort of like the weakest link in a chain.  For the purposes of my mental ramblings, however, let’s assume there to be no weak bricks and therefore no toppling.  Once I exceeded the reach of the massive crane I might consider the use of a remote control drone.  Then, after reaching the distance where the remote control drone no longer works I would employ the use of a windless helicopter.  I like the idea of a windless helicopter, although I don’t believe they have been invented yet, so I would put up a sign next to my stack of bricks saying that the project was on hold until a windless helicopter could be invented.  Hopefully this break in the action would allow me to have a rest from brick stacking, and besides, no one is really paying me to do this, and I should have worn gloves.  Yikes.  OK, so I’ve been thinking, maybe I should have dug a very deep hole with a small platform and pulley system.  That would have allowed me to start my stack, not at the Earth’s surface, but much, much lower.  Then, when appropriate, like now – when I’ve nothing to do but wait for the helicopter designers to do their thing, I could be raising the stack, bringing the platform up, even with the Earth’s surface, making my stack of bricks that much higher.  Now I wish I had thought of that before I started this whole thing.  Okay, I’m back now.  The windless helicopter has been invented and I have petitioned the Government for its use, explaining my project in full and in triplicate.  They sent out their inspectors and I ended up with several more Government forms to fill out.  While I was waiting for their decision, OSHA showed up and said that my brick stacking project was unsafe.  They had charts and official-looking drawings showing the potential hazardous zones, and the inevitable fragment patterns that would follow any collapse.  They wanted me to build a containment area, complete with warning signs, some in color, most quite graphic, and in several languages.  They further indicated that should my stack of bricks extend into a flight path I would have to put a flashing red warning light on the upper most brick.  The power source for the light was not discussed; however they did say a hefty fine would be assessed should it go out.  I should mention here that the media has not been missing during all of this; in fact, through their reporting of my project several private investors have come forward, as well as a few wannabe sponsors.  So far I have not entertained any offers; however, I have not yet heard what the hourly rate is going to be for the windless helicopter should they decide to let me use it.   There was one mystery company that offered me the use of what they referred to as, A Self-Illuminated Brick that I might use for the top.  It glows bright red and will never die out.  They did also mention that when handling it I should most definitely wear gloves.

 

I am still awaiting a decision on the use of the helicopter.