Some would say I'm fussy

 

I have a difficult time selecting a book to read.  Mostly, I pick one based on the title or the graphics on the cover and then read just a few sentences at random.  If it doesn’t grab me right away, I set it back on the shelf.

If it sounds at all preachy, like they have some messages to get out, I dump it.  I’m not really interested in any cause or injustice.  I like things to be lite and fun.  Authors using big or cumbersome words, just to show off annoy me.  I have a keep-it-simple philosophy.  Just tell your story and get on with it.

Too much description also drives me bonkers.  Knock it off.  I don’t care that the ice pick the killer was holding came from Ace Hardware, has a classic style wood handle, a blue stripe and a stainless steel brace and a half-off coupon was used to purchase it.  Although it does tell the reader that the killer, or whoever bought the ice pick, was savvy enough to wait for a bargain.  In fact, just having a killer in the story tells me the writer is boring.

If the author isn’t afraid to look stupid or sound silly, then they’re the one for me.  Anyone going through life to just have fun and enjoy themselves is someone I’d like to know.

The other thing, I like short stories.  Unless it is something that keeps me laughing, page after page, I’m not interested.  Short adventures are the best.

Odds are, it's never going to be a Book of the Month, or on anyone's best seller list.  It's simply going to be a little gem I find tucked along the alphabet somewhere, and if it is really that good, I'll buy it just so I can read it again, whenever I want. 

One final thing.  It must be book-shaped.  I only have the one set of bookends, so nothing odd or bumpy.  That's it.