(A Visit from the Governor)
As we left Oak Valley a giant storm
has just disrupted the Flounder’s Day Parade.
As we rejoin our story we are in time to hear, Thwap, thwap, thwap. It is the sound of the Governor’s helicopter
swooping over Oak Valley and landing next to Ed’s Mobil Diner. As the Governor steps out Mayor Warren Peace begins to applaud his arrival and the
townspeople join in.
Phil
A. Buster: “Thank You. Thank you very much. (He responds in a rather poor Elvis
impression) Look Warren, from what I’ve
seen this entire area is a disaster. I
believe you qualify for some Government disaster money. You folks need to rebuild.”
The
Townspeople: “Cheer… Applaud, applaud, applaud…”
As the Governor steps back into the
helicopter he turns and tosses out several large brown boxes.
Phil
A. Buster: “Here, this will get you
going.”
Thwap,
thwap, thwap… Thwap, thwap, thwap...
As the Governor flies off into the
distance Nancy Phoepaw goes over to one of the brown boxes.
Warren: “Open it up Nancy. What’s in it?”
As Nancy opens the large carton she
exclaims, “Oh, my!” and she proceeds to pull out roll upon roll of red tape.
Nancy: “Boy, it appears that in order to get our
disaster money we’re going to have to get through all this Government red
tape.”
Well… is Elvis really dead? And just who called the Government if the
phone lines were down? Isn’t someone
taking an awful lot of liberties with this story?
Tune in again
tomorrow when you’ll hear Warren Peace
read an official Government Letter addressed to the townspeople of Oak Valley.
OAK VALLEY
Episode 20 (I think - I've lost track)
Because you are so late checking
your e-mail we are joining our story already in progress.
Warren: “…the letter goes on to say that in order to
qualify for the Government disaster money Oak Valley has to build an entire
housing development that will solely be used within the established guidelines
as set and developed for the Witness Protection Program. We are restricted to “Main Street” as the
only authorized street name, no matter how many streets our new sub-division
may have, every fourth street light is to be broken, as to resemble an actual
neighborhood. The start up of new
businesses in town is highly encouraged.
Small government-issue toys will be sent to us to be left here &
there on neighborhood sidewalks. And
then it goes on to say that all forms listed on page 23 must be filled out in
triplicate and submitted along with no less that three (3) local contractor
bids on building the new witness protection housing.”
The
Townspeople: “Murmur, murmur, murmur.”
Wanda
Loop: “Just what does this all mean, Mayor? Is the Government going to help Oak Valley to
rebuild? Or what?”
Warren: “Wait, there’s more. It says here that although after
completion we will have an authorized Witness Protection Housing development
we should take note that there are not enough criminals to go around and that
we must petition for the type of criminals we want and even though we list
them in order of Most Wanted we will be competing against other communities of
our size.”
Nancy
Pheopaw: “Mr. Mayor, what are we going
to do with all this red tape?”
Warren: “I believe our first plan should be to get
these forms filled out and get them submitted.
Someone go and find Judy. We need
to reunite her with her twin sisters. If
anyone will be good at filling things out in triplicate it will be Judy, Judy,
Judy.”
Well… does Oak Valley have 3 local
contractors? And just what will they
call this new housing development anyway?
Broken Arms? Tune in again next
week when we’ll hear Mahatma Koat, Oak Valley’s High llama, say, “Try to
imagine a world where there are no hypothetical situations.”
OAK VALLEY
Please Stand By…
Sorry for the dead air space but
the construction in Oak Valley severed our communication lines and we were out
of business for some time. As you can
all see, we’re back J
Oak Valley will once again return
for your viewing pleasure. It is
unfortunate, however, that all the really good, and clever stuff happened
during this unforeseen down time. We
anticipate episode 21 will be sent out in…
5… 4… 3… 2…
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