Episode 22

 

 

OAK VALLEY

Please Stand By…

 

 

            Sorry for the dead air space, but the construction in Oak Valley severed our communication lines and we were out of business for some time.  As you can all see, we’re back J

 

            Oak Valley will once again return for your viewing pleasure.  It is unfortunate however that all the really good and clever stuff happened during this unforeseen down time.  We anticipate episode 22 will be sent out in…

 

5…  4…  3…  2…

 

  

 

OAK VALLEY

 

 

 

            Oak Valley – a small friendly community, just off the freeway, nestled in the Blue Diamond Mountains.  As today’s story begins Sparky is taking his morning stroll along the storefronts on Main Street.  The scent of fresh coffee drifts in the morning air.  The faint murmur of voices can be heard across Meadow Muffin Lake.  It is a morning not unlike some other morning somewhere else.

 

            As Sparky passes the front of Nora’s Touperwear Shop - Specializing in Toups Of All Shapes And Sizes For Balding Men, he hears Nora explaining to a new salesperson, “You just have to lift one little corner like this - then press down in the center.  You know, you’ve got to burp them.  That’s why I call them Touperwear.  This helps to form a tight seal keeping the toupee in place.”

 

            That same morning the townspeople gather at Ed’s Mobil Diner.  The topic of discussion is the upcoming open bid on who will build the new development just west of town.

 

Warren Peace:  “I think we should run some kind of test, you know, have each contractor pass a test.  That way we can make sure we can get a quality job.”

 

Wanda Loop:  “I like that idea.  I think there should be 2 tests they have to pass and if they don’t pass both – they can’t bid on the job.”

 

Warren:  “What do you have in mind?”

 

Wanda:  “Well, fist they must be dressed nice.  I don’t think anyone around here wants to look at Plumber Pants for the next 6 months.”

 

Warren:  “What are Plumber Pants?”

 

Nancy Phoepaw:  “Surely you’ve seen the pants on plumbers that well…  seem to slide down every time they bend over to do something.”

 

Warren:  “Oh, I know what you mean -  Sears has Plumber Pants on sale this week.”

 

Ed:  “Wanda what’s the second test?”

 

 

Wanda:  “The second test is to give them all a lunch break.  The true test will be to see who comes back.  I’ve never known a contractor yet who doesn’t disappear when the jobs half done.”

 

            Meanwhile…  As the townsfolk try to weed through their Weed-Through process, far away in some distant Government building, the Oak Valley Folder is being handed to Helen Baack.  Helen is in charge of issuing witnesses to qualified towns.  As she goes over the paperwork she happens to notice a problem with one of the copies.  She calls her supervisor over.

 

Helen:  “Bob, can you come here for a moment?”

 

Bob:  “What is it, Helen?” He says, as he walks up to her gray, metal, standard issue, 318/P/27-87 desk, with chair.

 

Helen:  “Look, right here.  This form is completely backwards.  It’s as if triplets filled this out, but one of them was left-handed.”

 

Bob:  “You’re right.  This will have to be rejected.”

 

            Meanwhile…  Back in beautiful Downtown Oak Valley

 

Warren Peace:  “OK, we’ve got all the bleachers from Grapeknee High lined up along Main Street.  We’ve got three piles of lumber, three piles of nails, and three saws, and I’ve got the blueprints here for an outdoor bar-b-q.  The first group of contractors to construct this great little bar-b-q will get to bid on the new housing project.”

 

Justin Tyme:  “Mayor!  Mayor!  Excuse me sir, but there’s an important phone call for you at your office.  I think it’s from the Government.”

 

 

            Well…  Has Sparky walked a fur piece?  Has the Oak Valley Folder really gone to Helen Baack?  Tune in again tomorrow, when you’ll hear Warren Peace say, “Hello?”