A Fable

Once upon a time there lived a scraggly old codger.  We’ll call him Wallace.  Not because Wallace was his name, but just for this story.  So really, don’t think of him as Wallace, but just a made-up person for this story.  Got it?

Okay, so Wallace…  No wait - let’s call him Ned.  Yea, I like that better.  Ned was a scraggly old codger.

Here, let me start over.  

Once upon a time there lived a scraggy, old codger named Ned.  Ned had worn-out shoes, clothes that looked like rags, and an unpleasant odor that seemed to follow him wherever he went.  Really, we’re talking stink-a-roo.  Sometimes the smell of Ned got to where he was going before Ned did.

Let me interrupt this for just a minute.  I just want to impress upon you the amount of stench we’re talking about.  Think of a rotten egg factory that’s been closed up for a long holiday weekend.  You’re the first one to show up for work on Monday morning.  You open the big factory doors to go in and a waft of rotten egg smell comes rushing out.  It knocks you over and now you’re laying there right in the way of everyone who was behind you waiting to get into work.

People are stepping over you, some are saying excuse me, others are giving you dirty looks, as if it were you that was causing the smell.  Anyway, are you starting to see what I’m talking about here?  I’m talking about Ned.  He was a stinker.

Here’s the thing;  Ned didn’t know he stunk.  Ned couldn’t smell.  I mean his nose didn’t work like yours or mine.  It was just there on his face, but no smell was getting in.  The smell part of Ned’s brain had gone unused all of his life.  Ned didn’t even know what people were talking about whenever they would comment on how good the cafeteria smelled at lunch time.

And by the way, it was a rare occasion the cafeteria smelled good, or anything even close to good.  But I digress.

One Thursday afternoon, at precisely 3:07 pm, a swarm of skunks invaded the town.  Towns people scattered in all directions.  No one knew what had caused the skunks to all leave the woods and come into town, but suddenly there they all were.  Skunks everywhere.  Many were waddling down Main Street, a few had wandered into the bank lobby, while still others seemed to be running towards the elementary school.

By now you’re probably thinking that our hero Ned with his inability to smell stayed behind to save the day and rid the town of skunks.  Well, you’d be wrong.  Ned was one of the first to high-tail it out of there.  In fact, he’s never come back.

I guess that if there is a moral to the story its this; 

If you’re supposed to close up the bank at 3 pm sharp, you better do it.

The End