Episode 15 7/8

OAK VALLEY

 

            Well if you remember - several years ago all the people of Oak Valley had signed their kids up as Foreign Exchange Students due to the fact that OV didn’t have a school of its own.  But now with Grapeknee High they have all been brought back so that they might finish out their education right here in Oak Valley.

 

            As our story begins, we see a large crowd gathered at the train station.  They are Oak Valley parents greeting their children that have just come home.

 

Wanda Loop:  “Dolores, hi, welcome home!”  (Hug, hug)

 

Dolores Loop:  “Buon Giorno, Mama Sita.  Pasta Primavera.”

 

Ed:  “Hey, Skipper.  Welcome Back.”

 

Skipper:  “Goodin-Toggen, Heir Floggenhopper.”  (Hug, hug)

 

Warren Peace:  “Has anyone seen my twins?  Hey, anybody happen to see my twins, Juan and Amal, get off the train?”

 

Nancy:  “Warren, I saw Juan get off from that train car.”  She says, pointing to the car ahead.

 

Warren:  “Oh, great.  I’m not worried then.”

 

Nancy:  “But Mr. Mayor, I only saw Juan.”

 

Warren:  “Look, they’re twins.  If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”

  

 

               Well…  Is Linda Foster ready to teach an entire school where every kid speaks a different language?  Does Oak Valley have a translator?  And what about those school vending machines…  can they be equipped to take Peso’s, Francs, Shillings, and Doubloons?  Or will Grapeknee High need a different vending machine for every student?  Tune in again tomorrow, when we’ll hear, “Der Globen!  Der Globen!”.  “Bark, Bark.”  (Hug, hug)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Episode 15

OAK VALLEY

 

 

            Well, in our last exciting episode, the Town Council was in the process of making plans to turn the old hospital into the new high school.  As the suggestions were pouring in as to what to name the new school, a small, almost too quiet voice from the back of the Town Hall was heard.

 

Alice Grapeknee:  “Excuse me… em… excuse me, please”

 

            The Town Hall suddenly became very quiet.  Everyone turned to listen to what Alice had to say, for she was the oldest and most respected resident of Oak Valley.

 

Alice Grapeknee:  “As I’m sure some of you remember, I placed a large sum of money in a trust fund many years ago, to be used for a school in Oak Valley.  Well, if you are going to use the old hospital building, then I suggest that you use my money to fix it up – you know – paint it, put in one of those long bike racks, buy some vending machines.  All I would like is for the school to be named after me.”

 

The Crowd:  “Murmur…murmur…murmur.”

 

Warren Peace:  “OK, all in favor of naming our new Oak Valley school “Grapeknee High”, raise your hands.”

 

            …and, so it came to be that the small friendly community, just off the freeway in the Blue Diamond Mountains now had an official high school.

 

            Meanwhile…  Across town, Erick (remember Erick?) well, Erick was going through his closet picking out a nice law suit and had already set the steam iron to cotton - ready to prepare his briefs.  (Ok, I’ll stop now)

  

 

            So, tune in again tomorrow, when we will hear Alex Hampton from the Sears Home and Garden Center say, “Just how much did the old lady put aside anyway?“  Nancy Phoepaw replies, “ Well, according to our records, it looks like thirty-seven dollars.  The numbers after that are just all zeros.”

 

 

Episode 14

OAK VALLEY

THE MEETING

 

Warren Peace:  “This meeting of the town council has been called as the result of the petition from Linda Foster to turn our old hospital, which is vacant due to all the patients being moved to Sears Home and Garden Center, into a high school for Oak Valley.  Here are some of the issues we need to discuss:

 

1)      Because only the patients were relocated, we could use this existing hospital equipment and supplies to cut cost, like using the portable I.V. stands as music stands for the marching band.

2)    The existing supply of hospital gowns can be used as both band uniforms as well as gowns for graduation ceremonies.

3)    Because it’s a 12-story building it will be perfect for putting a grade on each floor.  You know, K through 12.”

 

Nancy:  “Don’t forget Mayor, all of our students were sent away as foreign exchange students because we didn’t have a school.  How do we get them back?  I don’t even remember what countries we sent them to.”

 

Warren:  “You’re right, Nancy.  That could cause a problem having a school, and no kids.”

 

Pastor Ized:  “I’m sure we can find them and when we do we’ll just send for them.”

 

Ed:  “I’m afraid that’s not our biggest problem Mayor.  We have an official Oak Valley sign out in front of the building that says, “Quiet, Hospital Zone”.  Do you know what kind of paperwork it takes to get an official sign relocated?”

 

The Crowd:  “OOOoooooooooh”

 

Warren:         “I guess we have a lot of issues to deal with but for right now I’d like suggestions on what we should call the new High School.”

 

 

OK, This is the part that you have to read without moving your lips.  YOU, are the town council.  This episode of Oak Valley is interactive.  Send in your suggestions for naming the new Oak Valley High School.  Warren Peace, being the mayor, has the deciding vote.  (He DOES take bribes.)  You may send more than one.  Void where prohibited.  May settle during shipping.  Do not operate heavy equipment.  Do not induce vomiting.

 

This ends the interactive portion of this episode.

 

 

 

 

Note:  Only those sending in suggestions will receive more episodes of Oak Valley.

 

 

 

 

Episode 13

OAK VALLEY

 

 

 

            Oak Valley is a small, friendly community just off the freeway in the Blue Diamond Mountains.  As today’s story begins Linda had just learned that although she is a teacher in need of a job - Oak Valley does not seem to have a High School.  As we listen in we find Judy at the O.V. Dairy Queen explaining the situation to Linda.

 

Judy:  “...why, we don’t even have a Jr. High.  We don’t have an Elementary School, or a Pre-School.  Why the Oak Valley pet store doesn’t even have enough fish to form a school.”

 

Linda:  “Well, what do people do?”

 

Judy:  “I guess they buy their fish over in Mayville.”

 

Linda:  “Judy, have you always worked here at the Dairy Queen?”

 

Judy:  “Oh, no.  I’m retired from the Government Services Department and I get a fat check each month from the government for my war injury.  Folks around here call me the Double-Dipper, Dipper.”

 

Meanwhile…  Across town and over two streets, Erick has an audience with Judge Carmine Miranda-Wrights.

 

Eric:  “Your Honor, I believe I have enough here to take to court.  My client, Mr. Ferguson, was wrongfully discontinued and as a result did not receive the proper medical care needed.”

 

Carmine:  “That’s fine but just who are you taking to court?  What I mean is, can I have a ride too?  My car has been in the shop and although it’s fixed I refuse to pay the interest charges they’ve tacked on.”

 

 

 

Well…  Just who is going to court?  Moreover, what’s this conflict of interest?  A beauty contest judge working as a trial judge and now we find that Judy the Double Dipper-Dipper was wounded?  What a scoop.  Tune in again tomorrow when we will hear Linda say, “ Hey, why couldn’t we turn that old, empty hospital into the new Oak Valley High School?”

 

 

 

Episode 12

OAK VALLEY

 

 

 

            As today’s story unfolds, we find Erick and Linda sitting on the front steps or their house.

 

Linda:  “Well, how did it go at the hospital?”

 

Erick:  “You are looking at Massy Ferguson’s attorney.”

 

Linda: “Well, congratulations but don’t slow down now – I think we’re going

to have to sue our real estate agent.”

 

Erick:  “Who, Chuck?  I just saw him at the Hike-A-Price.  He asked me if we had met the old Millers yet?”

 

Linda: “You mean he admits it?”

 

Erick:  “Admits what?  All he said is the our house is haunted by the people who used to live there – you know, the Millers.”

 

Linda: “You mean, they’re ghosts?”

 

Erick:  “Apparitions, my dear.  That’s why I brought THIS home.”

 

Linda: “What’s in there?”  (Pointing to the large box)

 

Erick:  “Well, of course, it’s a Nordic-Track.  We’re going to exercise these ghosts outta here.”

  

 

Well…… Is the Judge going to go for a discontinuance?  Moreover, just what’s the deal with this Intermission thing?  What was that all about, anyway?

Tune in a gain tomorrow, when we will hear Erick say, “You know, the closest thing this town has to a judge is a guy named Carmine Miranda-Wrights, who is only called a judge because he was once picked to judge the Oak Valley Beauty Contest.

 

Episode 11

OAK VALLEY

 

 

 

            Da Da Dum, Da Da Da Da Dum.  THIS IS THE CITY (PARMA).  As our story begins, Sparky has just been pulled over by police Chief Crawford.

 

Chief Crawford:  “So, where do you think you’re going – to a fire?”

 

Sparky:  “Bark, Bark, Bark.”

 

Chief Crawford:  “Say, this looks like the Oak Valley fire truck that’s been reported as missing.  Come on boy, get in my squad car and I’ll take you back home.  Dispatch, this is the chief.  I’ll be 10-8 till 8:10 with a K-9.  10-4?”

 

            Meanwhile, back in Oak Valley, a small, friendly community just off the freeway in the Blue Diamond Mountains, we find Linda Foster at the micro-fish waiting to see what is sooo important at the town library.

 

O.B. Kuiet:  “Mrs. Foster?  Thank you for coming on such short notice but as you will see this matter could not wait.  What I have here is a copy of your permanent record and I’m afraid that past due library fines from your last residence prevent me from issuing you or your husband an Oak Valley library card.”

 

Linda:  “Well, just how much money are we talking about?”

 

O.B. Kuiet:  “At 5 cents per day I calculate you owe us 160.”

 

Linda:  “WHAT!  How could we possibly owe $160.00 – I only checked out 1 book!”

 

O.B. Kuiet:  “No, not dollars – nickels.  You owe us 160 nickels or $8.00 but even full payment won’t remove the blotch from your permanent record.”

 

Linda:  “Yes, I know -  I’m a school teacher.”

 

 

Well…………… just who would build a room addition in a cellar?  In addition, will Broderick let Sparky play with the siren?

Tune in a gain tomorrow when you will hear little Tommy ask O.B., “Excuse me ma’am, what’s another word for Thesaurus?”

Episode 10

OAK VALLEY

 

 

 

With orders from the Sears Tower in Chicago the Oak Valley Sears Home and Garden Center has been making technological improvements.  The latest is the new bar code system.  Not only is each and every item rung up at the correct price but automatic adjustments to inventories are made as items are sold.  (Impressive, huh?)

 

Meanwhile…  Back at Erick and Linda’s-

 

Erick:      “Linda, Linda, Look at this article in the paper.  Massy Ferguson, an injured farmer being cared for at Oak Valley General was given the wrong bar code and was pronounced Discontinued.”

 

Linda:     “What do they mean - discontinued?”

 

Erick:      “Well it says here that because he showed up as discontinued all treatment and care has been stopped.  Sarah Bellum, the head Nurse, told reporters that Massy’s back injuries have been put on back order and until all this can be sorted out he cannot be seen by the Loading Doc.  He will have to go to Lay-away.

 

Linda:     “Sounds like you just found your first case.”

 

Erick:      (Sly Lawyer smile) “I’ll be back later.  I’m heading over to see Mr. Ferguson.”

 

Linda:     “OK, I’m going back downstairs to see what that noise is.”

 

      Linda heads down the steps and as she reaches the bottom, she sees two shadowy figures swinging picks at the far cellar wall.  (chink, chink…)

 

Linda:     “Excuse me, Hello?  Who are you and what are you doing to my wall?”

 

Shadowy Figure:  “Your Wall?  Just who are you?”

 

Linda:     “I’m Linda Foster, previously Marm Foster.  You know, before the editors came to town.  My husband and I just bought this place.”

 

Shadowy Figure:  (Laughter) “I can’t believe old Chuck sold this place again.  Look, Honey, I’m Fred and this is my wife Blanche.  Did anyone happen to mention the old Miller’s to you?”

 

Linda:     “Yes, but…”

 

Fred:  “Well, that’s us honey.  We’re the old Millers and not only are we still alive but we still own this place and live here.  I’m afraid that you and your husband will just have to track down old Chuck and get your money back.”  (More laughter)

 

Linda:  (Heavy sigh)

 

 

 

Well…  Just what is to become of Sparky?  Does he have enough gas?  And just what are the normal library hours, anyway?  Tune in again tomorrow when we will hear the Parma Police Chief say, “Excuse me, does your dog bite?”