Ocean Front

 

 



Renters



Laminated Rats

 

  

 

 

            Yes, I can tell you exactly why I keep coming back to this blog; for one thing Zobostic doesn’t use teaser titles like those Yahoo journalists.  I find that very annoying.

 

       In here I find in-depth stories like the one last October by Barb Wire.  I think it was called, On the Fence.   Or the article last week about the tainted dates discovered at the Christmas calendar luncheon.  And I love some of the poems - not the ones that get stuck in my head all day.  I hate when that happens.

 

It isn’t just rich, exquisitely done articles that draw me back again and again, it’s the feeling I get when I visit this blog, like I’m seeing an old friend, someone I’ve known all my life.  Well - not all, because it isn't over yet.

  Maybe not a friend I’d lend $3.00 too or even want to share my lunch with – not that kind of friend, more of a sole mate - someone who has walked in my shoes. 

Not these shoes here but my other ones.  The brown tie shoes with the man-made uppers, oil resistant bottoms, you know the ones.  It’s more of that kind of feeling.

Oh, I see.  You thought I was thinking soul mate.  Oh heavens no.  This isn't that kind of blog.

And I could have that whole soul mate thing confused with something else.  It's like when I misunderstood that speech I heard about the laminated rats.

Now THAT was embarrassing.  Turns out it wasn't rats...  I forget now what it was.

Doesn't matter.

 

 

 

 

 

 



Side Effects

 

 

If we stay here the side effects are chills, frost bite and limited mobility.

If we take the Florida pill the side effects are itching and random swatting

 

If we take the Mid-west pill we will appear wind-blown, disheveled and lose our balance

 

No one can afford the California pill

 

Swallowing the Lone Star pill leads to dehydration and
 heat stroke

 

The great northwest pill has caused roof rot in some laboratory animal housing

 

The D.C. pill has been known to cause the following;

Greed

Arrogance

Loss of conscience

Verbal diarrhea

Megalomania

Short & Long term memory loss

Short-sightedness

and Truth Avoidance Disorder

 

 

Please consult your Doctor before exercising your judgment. 

 Remember...

When the Angels want to punish us they grant our wishes.

 

 

 

A. E. Housman

 

 

"I lay me down and slumber,

and every morn revive -

Whose is the night-long breathing

that keeps me man alive.

 

When I was off to dreamland

and left my limbs forgot,

Who stayed at home to mind them

and breathed when I did not?

 

I waste my time in talking

No heed at all takes he

My kind and foolish comrade

That breathes all night for me."

 

 

 



Defending the Waldorf

 

Walking across the giant salad felt like I was walking on thick padded carpet.  Occasional strips of carrot snapped like twigs beneath my feet as I stepped.  My walking stick, now that I think about it, looked much like a tall salad fork, collecting odd leafy things each time I plunged it down for support and balance.

 

Mushroom caps were larger than they should have been and getting around them at times was awkward.   A strong odor of onion was making me tear up and it was difficult to breath.  As I made my way across I began to feel quite strange, maybe even a little dizzy.  I noticed my arms and legs looked somewhat red and irritated.  I may have been breaking out in a radish.  This was not good.  I had gotten myself into a real pickle.  Even my dog, Flower, had run off.  He was a Collie.

 

               I had to be careful crossing to the far side.  I could just picture myself slipping and falling, being left for dead.  Odd thoughts soon filled my head, like – Lettuce pray.  Large areas around me seemed to resemble a battle field.  There were broken and snapped peas, small sprouts that looked way too young to be here.   Up ahead I spotted an asparagus spear.  I picked it up.  I might need it later; who knows what crazy Garbanzo could suddenly attack me?

         I glanced over at that potato.  The look in his eyes made me think of that time I saw Arty choke.

 

         For a moment I thought I heard somebody toss something.  It startled me - I called out,

 

                “Caesar!  is that you?”

 

 

Lest ye be...

 

 

Everyone was in the hall

waiting to go back inside

like actors in a dramatic play

spectators, reporters, family members

and me -

 

“Jury’s back.” - the bailiff’s voice

opening the door yet no one moved

as if suddenly none of us wanted to know

or see –

 

“Back inside, again the bailiff -

the judge is drawing near.”

but a knowing had swept across the crowd

there was nothing left for us

nothing we needed to hear –

 

A newsman packed up his camera

a lady in a long coat turned

putting on her gloves

and a collective sadness filed out of the courthouse

 

some headed to the parking structure

others – the bus stop,

nobody was talking

the city felt different – quieter

lonely.

 

A single tugboat was making its way

down the lethargic river

but there were no barges to move

or cruise ships to park –

not so much as a sleeve to tug.