The classified advertised it as a luxury cave. The real estate agent, Helen Parker said she
could show it to me at 2PM, so at 2 on the dot I returned to her office, and
she drove me to the property. I was surprised
to see it was in fact a cave. The front
yard was just a scraggly field. There wasn’t
any sidewalk leading to the cave entrance, just a slightly worn path through
the field.
As we got out of her car, she reached into the trunk and
pulled out a flashlight. She looked at
me and said she wasn’t sure if the electricity had been left on or not. I was happy to hear it had electricity.
Walking in, the first thing I noticed was the temperature
change. It felt very cool but not at all
damp. My next observation was the
hardwood floors. Somehow, I expected
there to be dirt floors. To my way of
thinking, caves always had dirt floors.
These were nice. Highly polished
and as we walked, our steps echoed.
Helen reached over to the rock wall and felt around for the
light switch. She flicked it on and sure
enough, all of the lights came on. The
place looked beautiful. It was very
expansive. There was a full, modern
kitchen off to our left and opposite the kitchen looked to be a family room. Apparently, the place came fully furnished,
as I saw a big, flat screen television, two recliners, a leather sofa, some
tables, and a few scattered lamps.
Hellen noticed my surprise and said, “Yes, it comes completely
furnished.”
We spent a good hour going through the place, room by
room. Each time we entered a new area I
was surprised at the detail and quality that had been put into it. As we were heading back towards the entrance,
the realtor stopped, looked at me and said that if I was serious about the
place, there were a few things I needed to know. Then she began to list them.
“First off, the post office won’t deliver mail to a
cave. You’ll have to get a PO Box in
town.” I told her that wasn’t a problem. “Cell phone reception is very poor towards
the back of the cave.” Again, I let her
know that wasn’t a deal breaker. Finally,
she says, “During times of hibernation, there is a bear that takes up a little
space in the back bedroom.”
I told her there were a few other properties I still wanted
to check out, but that I’d let her know.
In truth, I loved the place but wanted a little more information on the
bear situation.
It hadn’t occurred to me initially, but there wasn’t a front
door. The cave was just open to the
elements, not to mention the critters. I
began to wonder who lived there before.
Who had just packed up and left all their furniture and why? Maybe this wasn’t something I should be
getting into. I called the realtor back
and asked her if I could talk with the previous owners. She seemed very reluctant to give me their
name. I told her it was available at the
township office as it is a public record, so then she agreed to save me a trip
there.
“His name is Chesterfield.”
Like the cigarette, I asked.
“No, his first name is Chester, his last name is Field. It’s not all one word.”
Do you happen to have any contact information for him?
“Our office doesn’t give out any personal information. For that, you will have to go to the city
offices.”
I thanked her and the next day drove into town to see what I
could find out.
I think the real estate agent told them to expect me, for
when I walked into the Clerk’s office, they seemed to be ready for me.
Already on the counter were the documents and history for
that property, but that isn’t what I noticed right off. The office itself was old and smelled musty. There were two no smoking signs posted and
yet the crusty-looking lady sitting back at her desk seemed to be chain smoking. The ashtray on her desk was overflowing with
cigarette buts and a cloud of smoke hung thick over where she sat.
Are you the county clerk? I asked.
“Do I look like an elected official?” she snarled.
I didn’t respond. She
appeared to be having a bad day. I slid the stack of documents to the end of
the counter and proceeded to look through them.
I discovered Chester Field owned the property only 3 years. Before Chester it was owned by a Lilly
Thompson. There was no mention of a bear
on any of the paperwork, however, Lilly’s occupation was listed a circus
performer. I immediately wondered if
this was a circus bear that Lilly had somehow liberated.
My search to locate Mr. Fields took me to a dead end. From everything I found, it seems he left the
country and now lives in Germany. I had
zero luck finding an address for him in Germany, but I did locate Mrs. Thompson.
No phone number that I could find but at least I had a
psychical address I could write to. In
the meantime, I went ahead and put an offer in on the cave. I really liked it and didn’t want to wait.
My offer was accepted, and I was now in Escrow. Yikes!
Did I really just buy a cave?
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