A Walk in the Woods

 

Once upon a time there lived some office types who had, for some unknown reason, decided to take a walk in the nearby woods.   They were dressed, as office types often are, in upscale attire.  This, of course, was during their lunch time, so instead of thinking of all the things that a walk in the woods might involve, most had thoughts of delicious sandwiches, maybe a slice of pickle, chips and a beverage of some sort.

 

As further and further into the woods they went, these thoughts of eating a fine, albeit hurried lunch began to surface.

 

“Did anyone bring any snacks?” asked Moreen, whose heels kept digging into the forest floor as she walked.

 

“Yes” replied Bob.  And there’s always a Bob.  “I was wondering the same thing.  Maybe we should have brought lunch with us.  I am getting a little hungry.”

 

Phillip, the office snitch chimed in.  “I knew this was a bad idea.  Who goes for a walk in the woods when it’s lunch time?”

 

“Shut-up Phil.  You’re such a whiner.”

 

Mary didn’t like Phillip and never pretended to.  Mary was outspoken and had somehow made herself Chief-of-Police over the copy machine.  She never wanted anyone fussing with it.  If it needed paper, she would do it, if a service call was to be made, Mary had the repair technician on her speed dial.    Often, during breaks, Mary would wipe down the copy machine with her packet of Lysol wipes.  Whenever Phil thought Mary was watching, he’d walk by the copy machine and pretend to sneeze on it.  Bob would always laugh.  Today it was noticed that Mary would reach out and swat mosquitoes away from other office types who happened to be walking near her.  Nobody said anything.  That was just Mary.

 

Oddly quiet Ned had been walking out in front of the group.  He didn’t seem to mind swatting at his own mosquitoes and appeared to be trudging onward without even looking back to see if the group was still behind him.

 

Oddly quiet Ned was too busy thinking about the report he had been working on when everyone broke for lunch.  He was going over the numbers in his head.   Even though he knew the report was going to reflect a substantial loss in business, Ned felt the boss would be impressed with the great detail the report had gone into.  Ned was always fastidious and a conscientious worker, who enjoyed being accurate.   When the other office types needed an answer to a problem, they always would ask oddly quiet Ned to find the answer.  They didn’t, however, seem to like him.  They just used him when they needed something.  In fact, no one was sure who had invited Ned along on their walk, which Mary mentioned to Betty as she swatted at her arm.

 

Betty was the one person in the office plagued with discovering the last person who used the stapler had also used the last staple.  If the copy machine was going to jam, it was going to do it when Betty was using it.  Betty believed she had bad office Juju.  She knew there was nothing she could do about it, it was just her lot in life to be the one.  If anyone was going to find themselves stuck in the restroom with no toilet paper, it was going to be Betty.  On the upside, whenever something good would happen around the office, it was somehow always Betty who was thanked by Management.  For some unknown reason, in their eyes, Betty could do no wrong and was the one person who kept things running smoothly.

 

None of the other office types seemed to mind that Betty got all the credit, except of course, for Phillip.  He would always crab about it and then try to explain to Management what really happened, but even Management saw Phil as a whiner.

 

                                    To be continued