Ref: Letters from Ann

I’m very pleased not to be obsessive about dust, dirt, grime and things icky.  I strongly wish, however, to avoid shaking hands with you when we meet.  It’s not a phobia or anything like that, it’s just that having the mind that I do, I tend to envision all sorts of microscopic turmoil taking place on that pork chop you’re sticking out there.

Taking hold of your hand and shaking it up and down does nothing for either of us.  It is a ritual established by early morons who, for whatever reason, felt the need.  I do not.

Don’t even think about the fist-bump, although it provides far less surface area, thus reducing exposure, it displays a mannerism more suitable to primates.

In short, when we meet, stand up wind, don’t reach out and we’ll get along just fine.

 

Signed;

Ann Tiseptic