Defending the Waldorf

 

Walking across the giant salad felt like I was walking on thick padded carpet.  Occasional strips of carrot snapped like twigs beneath my feet as I stepped.  My walking stick, now that I think about it, looked much like a tall salad fork, collecting odd leafy things each time I plunged it down for support and balance.

 

Mushroom caps were larger than they should have been and getting around them at times was awkward.   A strong odor of onion was making me tear up and it was difficult to breath.  As I made my way across I began to feel quite strange, maybe even a little dizzy.  I noticed my arms and legs looked somewhat red and irritated.  I may have been breaking out in a radish.  This was not good.  I had gotten myself into a real pickle.  Even my dog, Flower, had run off.  He was a Collie.

 

               I had to be careful crossing to the far side.  I could just picture myself slipping and falling, being left for dead.  Odd thoughts soon filled my head, like – Lettuce pray.  Large areas around me seemed to resemble a battle field.  There were broken and snapped peas, small sprouts that looked way too young to be here.   Up ahead I spotted an asparagus spear.  I picked it up.  I might need it later; who knows what crazy Garbanzo could suddenly attack me?

         I glanced over at that potato.  The look in his eyes made me think of that time I saw Arty choke.

 

         For a moment I thought I heard somebody toss something.  It startled me - I called out,

 

                “Caesar!  is that you?”