It's not like you think.

 

        There isn’t just one spirit at the pearly gates wearing a stick-on tag saying, Hello – My Name is St. Peter.

        Then he lets you pass or doesn’t.

        It’s nothing like that.  There is a conference room, with standard issue chairs.  There is an entire panel of spirits, each having a copy of your file.  Long before you walk in the door they already know the good and the bad.  They’re just there to hear your side of things before any decision is made.

        This, by the way, is not a quick process.  Each and every detail gets thoroughly examined.  Your behavior and attitude comes under great scrutiny.  How did you treat this person and why, what were you thinking when you did this or that?

        They go through your work history and examine the facts against what you put on your resume.  They question any and all office supplies that may have found their way into your home.  They look into your personal dealings.  Were you fair with people, honest?

        It is a very grueling process and about halfway through you begin to wonder if any of this is worth it.  But then, the one spirit at the far end of the table, the one who hasn’t said anything at all, opens the red folder in front of them. They look up at you, clear their throat and say.

        “This is from grade school.  It is your permanent record.”