Tuesday, July 15, 2025

Sitter Beware

 

    Despite what science says, I’m convinced couch cushions are magnetic. Not in the traditional, North-and-South-pole sense, but in a much sneakier, domestic way. They attract loose change, car keys, TV remotes, and—given enough time and the right crime drama setting—possibly even murder weapons.

    They also seem to possess a mystical gravitational pull for popcorn, cookie crumbs, and the occasional missing sock. And it’s not just mine. This is a universal phenomenon. I’ve tested it. Go lift the cushions on any couch. You’ll find the same strange cocktail of debris, as if couches everywhere are conspiring in some grand, crumb-collecting ritual.

    I don’t know what causes it—the material, the shape, the oddly hypnotic swirl of 1980s upholstery patterns—but something about that combo creates an irresistible vortex. A Bermuda Triangle of the living room.




1 comment:

Pauline said...

You're Right! It's all collected there except for the "plush" in the cushions. That disappears faster than other stuff is deposited, and you end up sitting lower and lower until you are in a deep depression - mentally and physically!