We Have the Technology

 

Knowing, as we do, that the rotation of the earth continues at a good pace.  Understanding Man’s desire to explore the vast expanse of the universe, then why not create a giant sail?  Hoist it up and let the wind hurl the entire planet off into the heavens above.

Everyone’s baggage is already aboard, seats have been assigned.  Anyone with a peanut allergy should already have their meds with them.  Let’s go for it.

No rocket fuel required, no boarding pass to print and absolutely everyone gets a window seat.

As soon as we reach the atmosphere where there is no longer wind, we simply lower the sail and coast.  Still going incredibly fast, of course, and as we don’t really know where we’re headed, we can’t be late.