Monday, September 21, 2020

Stan Norwinski


38 Years Old
Graphic Artist
Annual income: $175,000.00
Marital status: Single
Hobbies: Volunteers at Senior Center
and Habitat for Humanity
No political affiliations 
No tattoos or piercings 
No police record
Enjoys being a vegetarian






Plays the Accordion
(Sorry - it had to be something)
Nobody's perfect.












I needed to make copies

Someone said to go to the end of the pier.





I did find a Canon there



The Answer is: Keeping your Hat on





What is the problem with
traveling at the speed of light?








Extras



Little did Ishky know that when he stepped off the boat with his grandmother, he would be whisked off to a casting call in Hollywood, California.  

The wardrobe department had nothing to do, they said these two were already perfect.  Kraft Services fed them and then they were escorted to trailer #11 so they could rest until they were needed on set.

That was back in 1988.  These two extras have since disappeared back into the blend of American humanity and have not been heard from ever again.  

In fact, they didn’t even have lines to rehearse for the movie, which was good because neither spoke a word of English.  All they had to do was pose for this photograph, which consumed 3 seconds of the film.

Look for them the next time you watch Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, with Paul Newman and Robert Redford.
















zc



Sunday, September 20, 2020

It's Yiddish


The Hatfield's live on the left -

The McCoy's live on the right -

Neither one is claiming the great divide,
so neither cuts it.





Neighbors - Oy vey







Saturday, September 19, 2020

The Sinister Bog


They referred to it as, the sinister bog.   For years rumors about it scurried around the village like rodents on holiday.  No one dared go into it, for it was said they’d never come back out.

I was the newcomer to the village.  I didn’t pay much attention to the rumors, and never spread any myself, but also, I never wandered in the direction of the bog.  I saw no need.  I was sure it contained snakes, mosquitoes and alligators, none of which I cared to encounter.

Then yesterday happened.  Nora, the child from the family that lives next door came over.  She was quite upset and said I needed to go and look for her dad.  He had gone into the bog and had yet to return.  I questioned her as to why he had gone there, but by the time I had finished my question she was sobbing too much for me to make out anything she was saying.

She walked up closer to me, grabbed my sleeve and led me over to their small, flat bottom boat.  Then she pointed to the bog, as if suggesting I take the boat and head in.  I knelt down and looked her in the eyes.
 
“Give me a minute, I want to get my bug spray.  If I’m doing this, I want a fighting chance.”  I went back into my house and sprayed myself down, head to toe.  

When I came back out, she was gone.  The boat was there and one oar.  I pulled the boat over to the edge of the bog.  The minute it was afloat I got in and pushed out with the oar to deeper water.

I was no sooner ducking branches and maneuvering around giant tree roots when I encountered my first swarm of insects.  It didn’t take long to realize I had not sprayed around my eyes.  My first bite was next to my right eye and stung like the dickens.   I set the oar down in the boat and wiped my hands on my neck to get some excess repellant onto my hands.  Then I closed my eyes and whipped my palms across my eyelids.  I was hoping that was enough to discourage the biters.  In the meantime, the right side of my eye was swelling up.  If it closed my eye completely, I’d have to turn back.

I couldn’t understand why Alex would come into this bog, or how was he doing it?  I had his boat.

My nerves were on edge.  Every sound, every slight splash caught my attention.  I imagined alligators swimming silently towards the boat, while all the time my eyes were scanning the branches for low hanging snakes.  This wasn’t how I had planned my day.  Compared to Alex, I was a city-boy.  I had no business in this bog.  And what was I going to do once I found him? 

“Hi Alex, remember me?  I’m your neighbor.  Your daughter is getting worried about you and asked me to come find you.”

Even I think I sound like a lunatic, but what the heck.  I yelled, “Alex?” and then I waited, listening for some kind of response.

Okay, I’m sure that last splash was an alligator.  I was right.  I could see him off to my left and just ahead.  My yelling must have startled him.  He was heading away from me, which I liked.  I yelled out again.  “Alex?”

It was immediately after my second yell when I noticed something that scared me.  It was like someone had hit a bog mute button.  Absolutely everything in the bog went silent.  There were no bug sounds, no birds, nothing.  If eerie had a sound, this would be it.  

My inner voice was telling me to turn back.  I set the oar across my lap and let the boat coast to a stop.  I might have just enough room between these tree roots to turn around, but I felt too wigged-out to move.  

I had never realized before how the absence of sound could be so loud.  My heart was pounding, and I suddenly wanted to know what all the bugs knew.  Why had they all stopped chattering? Was there something sinister heading my way?


To be continued.





zc






Now that you mention it....



I shouldn't have waited until today
to give her a name.