How I hate the Hallmark movies
leading men who need a shave
Plots that never thicken
the women are so brave,
Free doughnuts at the bakery
lots of cookies too,
Order anything you want
they’ll send no bill to you,
I despise the Hallmark movies
in their little town so cute,
Rain that never gets them wet
where no one owns a boot,
Each week a new bad apple
spoils the whole bunch,
Police who never do their job
and yet have time for lunch,
Stop the Hallmark movies
take them off the air,
Give us back our cartoon moose
squirrels flying through the air.
Return our fractured fairytales
and upsidaisyem –
Give us a moose who reads a poem
even if it’s dumb.
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