Sunday, February 22, 2026

Things I've Learned from Television

 

1.  Whenever you are the first person at a crime scene, be sure to touch as much as possible, especially the murder weapon.

2.  Never get as close as possible before yelling, “Stop, it’s the Police.”  Always yell from a distance, to ensure they have ample time to run.

3.  Before being shot by the bad guy, they will always give a lengthy speech before shooting.

4.  On any who-done-it show, the culprit is always the guest star.

5.  Women running away will always trip and fall, allowing the bad guy to catch up.

6.  Any camera angle showing the action from a distance, means there is someone else watching the action.  The camera is showing what they see.

7.  The majority of suspense scenes have been designed with spaces, allowing them to insert commercials.  The closer to the end of the show, the more frequent the commercials.

8.  Nothing they are selling is anything you need.

 

Z. Corwin


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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