Wednesday, December 17, 2025

In the News

 

There are many, many ways, side is only one of them.  It wouldn’t surprise me to one day discover an English professor had run amuck and with a high-powered rifle and was shooting dictionaries.

 

Words all over the campus, running scared, screaming in panic.  Verbs taking to the sky, seeking shelter in the trees.  Nouns standing perfectly still, as if statues, too scared to move.  A stack of thesauri huddled beneath the overpass, wishing they could be something else.
Due to insufficient room beneath the overpass, a lone dictionary stood out in the open, unabridged. 

 

Campus police, searching for the shooter, eventually found him at Witt’s End, the campus bookstore.  Taking him into custody went without incident.  The professor, noticing his shoes were Oxfords, shot himself in the foot.

 

 

 

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