So self-help me

 

Not having much of an analytical brain, I didn’t go into this venture with a great deal of confidence.  Those few things I was sure of were not high on anyone’s list of importance.  There was nothing life-changing within any of my future plans.  In fact, I had no plans.   I was simply clomping through each day with little inspiration or hope of discovering anything worthy.

Then I noticed a bookmark poking out between the pages of an old schoolbook.  An Introduction to Literature, 5^th edition, by Barnet – Berman – Burto.

I wondered what was so important that I felt compelled to mark the place where I had left off?

What I discovered was that some student, before me, had used an ink pen to mark where they had stopped.  Pages had small arrows pointing at a paragraph that might possibly appear on some future test.

Was this to be my discovery?  A distinction between classes was a bookmark verses an ink pen.  Or was it the short-sightedness of the pen holder, marking for all eternity some potential importance?  Then again, it just might be that part of the paragraph that was important. 

“… he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.  He was lying on his hard, as it were armor-plated, back and when he lifted his head a little, he could see his dome-like brown belly divided into stiff arched segments on top of which the bed quilt could hardly keep in position and was about to slide off completely.”

Real or imagined, either way, someone’s adventure was more important than my own at the moment.  I didn’t, however, concern myself so much with the boy who had morphed into a bug during the night, than I did with the student who had opted to write in their schoolbook.

What kind of person had they grown up to be?  I could see them becoming a politician, thinking only of themselves and their immediate needs.  Although a blanket generalization, history has shown it makes sense.

No, I doubt this was to be my take-away.  Scribbling in a textbook is hardly crime of the century, although it does hint at a questionable value system.   Now, that I have spent so much time on the subject, I’m starting to question my own upbringing.  It is altogether possible that my concern should be, why have I kept an old textbook on my shelves all these years?  I expect it is that which causes me to seek out a self-help solution, and for that – I’m on my own.