The Green Button

 

For the last 12 years there has been a Google employee, I won’t say who, sitting in front of a bank of switches, flashing lights, buttons and buzzers.  It is their job to keep all the Blogs of the world running smoothly.

Every day, for the past 12 years, they have brought their lunch.  They carry it in a retro, Howdy Doody – Buffalo Bob lunch box.  Inside is a thermos, held in place by a wire clamp.  There is a sandwich wrapped in wax paper, a banana and three Fig Newtons.   Once in a while, an orange takes the place of the banana.

Part of their job is to keep running totals of the number of times someone visits a blog.  Those numbers are posted on a status page, which can be found on the blog itself.  It also reports from which countries those hits come from.

Every day, for the last 12 years, that employee, I won’t say who, has set their lunch box down on the desktop, just to the right of this bank of switches, flashing lights, buttons and buzzers.  This has become a habit.  What they haven’t realized is their lunch box is resting on a green button.  The lunch weighs just enough to depress the button.

When depressed, the button shuts off everyone’s ability to send a comment back to the blog.  The reason I know this is because over the last 12 years this blog has received 178,570 total hits, from over 90 countries.  There are currently 2,633 posts on this blog.  2,634 counting this one. And over the last 12 years there have been zero comments.  (With the exception of one lady, I won’t say who, who has written her own code to bypass the depressed off switch)

Logic tells me, the odds of 178,570 people all agreeing to not reply to any post is not only astronomical, but also impossible.  Two people standing next to a window won’t agree if it is day or night.

I have written this post in hopes that the employee with the Howdy Doody lunch box be given a raise, if for no other reason than for his or her loyalty and dedication.  The thought process here is with just a little increase in their pay, they can stop bringing their lunch and start eating lunch in the Google cafeteria.  I understand there is a wide selection of both hot or cold meals, complete with fresh fruit and complementary Fig Newtons.