Our Crazy Uncle

 

So, we’ve got this crazy cousin in the North woods of Maine, but here’s the thing, he is really an uncle, and Maine is actually Florida, but he is crazy.

I mean, the balloon animals he makes are animals from a different planet that no one has ever seen.  Who knows if they’re right or not?  He spends his time feeding the crows, who knows why?  I remember one time; he didn’t have any motor oil for his car so he pushed a stick of butter into where the oil should go.  He really did.

I remember one time, back when he lived up in Northern Michigan he wasn’t feeling well and told his doctor he thought he’d developed a Petoskey stone.  His doctor suggested he had (GSD) Gift Shop disease and told him to lay off trinkets for at least six months.  

For a long time, he had a pet clam named Murray.  He kept him in a bucket of water.  He claimed he could do tricks.  I remember he bent a wire coat hanger so it had a loop at the end, and when he lowered it into the bucket, Murray would jump through it.  We couldn’t really tell if Murray was jumping or if our crazy Uncle was just sliding the loop under him.

I'll tell you more, as I remember it.