Episode 18

Oak Valley 

 

 

            Well…  As we left our friendly little community the Flounder’s Day Parade was just about to head down Main Street.  What you may not have noticed were the gloomy and blustery weather conditions quickly forming just behind the GrapeKnee High Marching Band.  As it happened, Phil Harmonic, the band leader had just tossed his twirling baton up in the air to get things started.  It was at that precise moment that the gale force winds sent his baton, not to mention many of the more loosely tied band uniforms, flying down Main Street.

 

            It was then that the townspeople who had trained for just such a storm went into action.  Shop keepers headed for their stores and closed them up tight.  Truckers, cab drivers, delivery boys, and crossing guards headed for the trailer park to help pull all the trailers into a circle.  (John Wayne was a big influence on the town elders). 

 

The Flounder’s Day festivities would be put off until next year.  As the big storm rolled through Oak Valley it snapped phone lines and kicked up dirt into people’s eyes.  The high winds blew apart old man Gray’s house, sending the lifelong pile of old razor blades that had long laid silent in the wall behind his medicine cabinet hurling through the air only to nick him once again.

 

            “W.O.A.K. is in the air.  Here is the latest storm damage update from W.O.A.K. 1390 on your radio dial.

 

 This is Earl Nunseeate back at you with our top story.  Well, from all reports folks, the large area just west of the Canon that we have been trying to plant, and trying to plant, all these years (what’s come to be called the seedy side of town) was hit the hardest by today’s storm.  I guess it’s lucky for us that there wasn’t anything planted there.”

 

            ...and so it remains true; Everybody talks about the weather, but…  (I can’t do it) 

 

Tune in again tomorrow when we’ll hear a SPECIAL message from Warren Peace.

 

Warren:  “Why do I have to wait until tomorrow?”

 

Announcer:  “Because.”

 

Warren:  “Because isn’t an answer.  What’s going on here?  You know, I’ve got a contract.”

 

Announcer:  “Look, see me after they shut off their computers, ok?”

 

Warren:  “Fine.  Fine fine, fine.”