It's cute, but what is it for?

 

“It has lots of uses.”

Like what?

“It can keep you from walking into the wall.”

I don’t understand.

“It can stop you right before you bump into that chair.”

Why would I bump into a chair?

“It can let your neighbor know that you’re home.”

I don’t get it.

“It’s been known to prevent a burglary.”

That little thing?

“You can sit next to it and read a book.”

I’m not buying any of this.

“It can help you celebrate a birthday.”

Can you show me how it does any of these things?

“I can, but I’d have to destroy it,”

Well, that’s just crazy.  How do you make something work by destroying it?