The Right to Die

I need to make a serious attempt at separating my audiences.

My propensity for cranking out this gibberish sometimes a lot of the time causes me to appear as a babbling lunatic.  

This occurs when the wrong hemisphere of my brain tries to create an intelligent, cohesive work and the end product (far from hitting its target) lands on the wrong audience.

I sat at lunch the other day trying to avoid thoughts of pie and cake.  The way I do this is to occupy my mind with even more gibberish.  I pick a topic at random and then just start writing about it.  88% of the time I crumple and then hook the finished product off the wall - making a last minute basket to save the team.

Unfortunately, I sometimes think, “I wonder if Karen, at the paper, would be interested in this?”  But instead of sending an e-mail to ask a simple question, I send her my ramblings.

Well, I have learned that this is not a wise practice.   She printed my last one, just as I wrote it.  Yikes.  

I’m sure it was the topic that caught her attention, but wouldn’t you think that as an Editor she might come back at me and say, “You know Zobostic- This piece you wrote about, the right to die never comes to any conclusions.  You mix up your references to the Constitution with the Bill of Rights and in general you pre-amble all over the place. This  article deserves the right to die.”

Nope.  She just prints it. 

Well, I have learned my lesson.  YOU guys are the only safe audience.  You are used to this sort of nonsense and take it as it is intended: to fill time while you’re waiting for the bathroom so you can get ready for church. 
(A wild guess on my part).  

Anyway, I shall not make that mistake twice.  I can only assume that the newspaper reading population of Mule’s Breath will now give me a wide birth at the supermarket checkout line.  They will avoid eye contact in restaurants and murmur under their breath after I leave.

 I’m not really sure which hemisphere of my brain is the one that has gone out of warranty but I suspect there is a defect and there are no replacement parts on order.

I'm just saying...