It is a cumbersome situation, carrying these fragmented
thoughts around for an entire lifetime.
You see only the discarded babblings tossed out every now and then,
while I remain tasked with storage of everything else. These posts are set out at the curb awaiting
your pick-up service and unbeknownst to you, more gibberish immediately fills
the void in my head where previous posts had been.
Although I refer to it as cumbersome,
I suppose if nothing took the place of these babblings, eventually my head would
be entirely empty, causing me of course to enter politics. So I take it as a bit of good fortune that
I’m continually contemplating the frayed edges of old conversations, the casual
and distorted reflections noticed momentarily within brass doorknobs and that
small trace of lint clinging to the tip of the cat’s whisker. What has he gotten into now?
Dare I suggest that
some seemingly insignificant observation be carried along my stream of
consciousness, until it washes up at your feet, sparking you to an
enlightenment of grand proportions? It
could happen.
Should you one-day find
yourself contemplating a small wad of gum clinging to some freeway guardrail as you sit in rush hour traffic, allow yourself to imagine the chewer, their
hurried life, their inappropriate behavior, or the environmental impact this
discarded gum could ultimately have, and you will have glimpsed a modicum of my
mental existence.
It does not stop there, however, for
now that gum has been logged, filed and woven into a mental retrieval system
like no other. Years from now, perhaps
in some remote, little village, I shall witness, what other’s might consider, a
simple vehicle mishap. As I motor past,
I will wonder if the driver at fault, in his or her attempt to discard their
chewing gum, inadvertently wandered into the on-coming lane, causing the
approaching motor scooter to swerve, striking the pedestrian, whose spewing bag
of avocados set the small, white poodle into fetch mode.
Trust me, things only get worse from
there.
The following winter's frigid
temperatures caused the wad of gum to fall from the guardrail and roll into the
path of a Goodyear 75/R14, doing 68 Km per hr.
Partially wedging itself between the
treads, an almost imperceptible clicking noise was made with each tire
revolution, sounding much like frozen gum striking pavement. The easily distracted driver rolled down the
window to better understand the origin of this annoyance. Leaning out slightly and listening, the
driver became unaware that their vehicle was drifting towards the guardrail.
The Good Samaritan following behind
felt obliged to honk vigorously, warning of the impending collision. Unfortunately, it was the vibrating echoes of
the honking that brought an avalanche of snow down to completely cover the
road, as well as both drivers.
Reports of the rescue attempts
appeared on television throughout the following couple days. Lyle Zurbach, of Channel 6 News was giving
one of his dramatic accounts of the cold and tired rescue workers, when the
camera operator filming him happened to notice one of the rescuers in the
background of the shot chewing gum.
Suddenly conscious of being in the
shot, the gum chewing rescue worker spit the gum into his mitten and flung
it. The camera operator, having spent
all summer filming the local golf tournament, instinctively followed the flying
gum as if it were a golf ball.
Viewers at home were quite
entertained watching the small bit of chewing gum fly through the air followed closely by a mitten, and hearing Lyle’s voice saying, “What are you
doing? What are you looking at?”
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