Faculties

I sat quietly yesterday morning on one of the little padded benches at the mall.  It was our rendezvous point and I was first to arrive.  It wasn’t a minute later when two elderly men came walking up to the bench next to mine.  They appeared to be brothers.  One held a canvas book bag and a newspaper while the second explained to the first that he would be close by looking in and out of the near-by shops. 

As the first old man set his things on the bench he looked up at his brother, acknowledging the fact that his brother would not be sitting but wandering about.  Then again the wandering brother stated the exact same thing over again as if he had no idea that he had just said that. I looked at the man who was now sitting.  There was quiet desperation in his expression.  He flipped his newspaper open and drew it up close to his very substantial glasses.

I didn’t see him diving into the top story of the day, so much as I saw him trying hard to be anywhere else.  Wherever he was reading about I would guess he was mentally placing himself there, if only for a few minutes.   He kept looking at the article but I could tell he was listening and very much focused on where his brother was and how far away he was getting.  They were apparently taking care of each other in Life’s later years but the burden had obviously shifted and was now all one sided. 

As I gazed up at the ceiling and skylights I began to think about the architect who had designed the angles, arches and passageways for sunlight way up there, where most scurrying shoppers rarely look.  I wondered if, while sitting at his drafting board, or computer, he envisioned a couple of old men sitting - waiting for someone and looking up.   I wondered if he intentionally thought to entertain us with light and shadows while we waited.  

As much as I played with that thought I knew that I was simply avoiding what was really nibbling away at me.  What would become of me if something ever happened to Sally?  I was already a gray-haired old man sitting here on the bench at the mall.

We all plan to take care of each other as long as we can.  As we know, the holes within the fabric of today’s community are quite large and people slip through them on a daily basis.   Without the right, coherent response at the right time, people find themselves being shuffled off into agencies and programs, being handled and fed by charts and timetables.

The obvious challenge is to see how long we can hang onto our faculties.  Other internal systems may fail and send us on unexpected adventures but when the bulb starts to flicker we start that downward slide into grilled cheese and Jell-o at a 3 PM feeding.

Down at the entrance to the store I could see Sally making her way to our rendezvous point.  My spirits immediately picked up.  We would go home, enjoy lunch together, having what we wanted and when we wanted it.   

Later I would go down in the basement to my workbench.  I would gather some ½ inch Pine and build a sturdy box with heavy latches and trim.  I will use it to keep my faculties in.   

Perhaps with a metal plate on top indicating that they are all here.

   You know - just in case.