...and now you know.

 

There was a sailor who loved sailing.  He was on a great ship assigned to patrol Lake Erie.  They would spend their days sailing around the shores.  They would travel over to there, way around here and even across to over there.  Once in a great while they would come over to this spot, but it seemed whenever they did, they would encounter pirates.

 Captain Q. enjoyed having a well-seasoned crew and knew they would do well in battle.  He only had one new recruit. He always referred to him as Swab, or sometimes, Swabbie, but usually just Swab.

It was during one of these battles that Captain Q. noticed that Swab became startled and almost jump out of his skin whenever the cannons were fired.  He even overheard Swabbie, in the lunchroom, telling some of the other sailors that he was having bad dreams, terrible dreams, with cannons exploding and shaking the deck of the ship when they did.

Although a little out of character, one day as Captain Q. was making his rounds, he passed by Swabbie.  Now keep in mind, the Captain had never spoken to his men directly, he had always used the chain of command.  This day, however, and I remember this part well, the sun was out, it was about 72° with a slight breeze out of the West.  Anyway, Captain Q. stopped when he got to Swab and he leaned over and said,

          “Try putting cotton in your ears whenever we’re in battle.”

Well, needless to say, Swabbie didn’t know what to think.  He was nervous that the Captain had spoken to him directly, and yet impressed that the Captain even knew he existed.  He didn’t know what to do.  Should he brag to his friends that the Captain spoke to him directly, or should he keep quiet, knowing that even the Captain had noticed the canons scared him to death.

Swab decided to keep quiet, but that night he had awful dreams.  His thoughts were running wild.  Just like the ship, his dreams ran over to here, then way over there and back to down around this spot.  By morning he sat in his bunk just trying to piece it all together.  What did it all mean? Erie, Swab, cannons, explosions, cotton… 

 

And that, dear fun seeker, is how and who invented the cotton swab.  Which, by the way, became known as a Q-Tip.