Solar Tubes
Chapter 1
If you came in the side door the first thing you would notice would be the bouquet of hiking boots piled by the stairs. Unfortunately, they are not fresh boots but rather well experienced, worn and sweat-soaked. It is a memorable fragrance all its own. The walking stick next to the boots has no scent to speak of.
None of that, however, has anything to do with the solar tube. The solar tube is a hollow shaft that runs from the rooftop, down to the ceiling of the kitchen. It is designed to let natural sunlight flood into the room.
Because of Murphy’s Law, it isn’t just sunlight finding its way into the tube, but as it turns out, the hollow tube also functions as an express elevator, carrying hundreds of small insect bodies down to the glass cover at the ceiling.
As the sun finds its way in and lights up the glass, this bug graveyard becomes illuminated for all to see. Really, there are more bugs than you can shake a stick at. Even a scent free stick.
However, to be fair, this story must be told through the point of view of the insect, for it is their final resting place. Like the sacred burial ground of the Native American, without an act of congress, and the proper forms, this solar tube must never be disturbed.
Ancient insect spirits, have a hard way to go during their life and get nothing but the shaft in the end, usually from a misinformed insect cemetery salesman – who, when questioned about the best place to end up says, “I’ll put some feelers out.”
Well, although the bug spirits are quiet and show no desire to expand their territory, this solar tube is not an appropriate view to be presented to the dinner guests below.
Thus, The Solar Tube Treaty of 2020 is now before
Congress. If passed, homeowners, as well
as long-term renters will be allowed to exhume these insect remains with approved
government vacuum cleaners, which should give these tiny spirits their final
comfort.
Eureka.
Solar Tubes are real, only
The Rare Hardcover Paperback is not.
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