Christmas - Help!

  

          As is the case with many male Americans, I hit the stores around Christmas time, looking for the perfect gift.  Not having been a shopper for the past 11 months, I find I require some assistance. 

          The problem, however, is that the stores have loaded themselves up with Christmas-help.  These are temporary employees tasked with assisting shoppers like myself.  The Christmas-help unfortunately is wandering about the store just as lost as I am.  They have little to no training, and go immediately into shock when asked a question.

          This entire system of gearing up for the holidays needs serious attention.  Shopkeepers must find themselves being bombarded with questions, not only from customers, but also from the multitude of timid new-hires attempting to field questions on their own, but lacking the skill, knowledge, and wherewithal to comprehend their own shoe size.

          Might I suggest the following:

          Team Jerseys; All employees who have been on the job for one week or less must wear jerseys displaying a large number one on the front and back.  Those having two weeks experience would wear the number 2, and so on.

          Now, with this system in place, Joe Shopper can walk in and if he is looking for just anything, he can seek out a number 1 and together they can wander through the store making little discoveries.  However, should Anita Sumptonspecial come rushing in, she can immediately head for a number 4 or 5.

          That’s it.  It’s simple, and it works. 

          Please comment with your suggestions or ideas.  Opposing views are always welcome.

Z. Corwin