Guilty - with an explanation

 

Over the years the judge had heard so many explanations, excuses and hard-luck stories that she was always hoping for that one story that would be the jewel in the crown.  She was hoping for the ultimate in explanations, and so when this particular defendant pleaded guilty with an explanation… well let’s just say, her hopes were high that this would be the one.  She took a sip of her water, sat back in her chair and said, “Speak to me.”

A little nervous, the defendant cleared his throat and began.  “Your honor, it all started with my grandfather.  He lives by himself, in a small house at the edge of town.  In fact, from his front porch you can see the railroad tracks that cross Maine Street.  As you know, the train doesn’t really stop there but it does slow down quite a bit, due to the city ordinance making it illegal to exceed 6 miles per hour at that intersection."

The judge took another sip of her water but let the defendant continue.

"Anyway, my Grandfather, at the time, was sitting in his rocker on the porch when the train slowed to a crawl.  It was then he noticed a dog jump down from an open boxcar and start walking down his street.  He watched the dog until it was right at the steps of my grandfather’s porch.  Well imagine his surprise when the dog climbed up onto the porch and lay down right next to the rocking chair.

It was almost hypnotizing watching the dog’s tail wag and each time just miss being rocked on by the chair.  As if they were synchronized or something."

“Pick up the pace Mr. Louis.  We’re heading into lunch time.”

"Sorry, your honor, but it’s important I don’t leave anything out, or none of this will make sense."

“Go on.  I’m listening.”

"That evening my Grandfather went into town and bought several cans of dog food, a bag of dry food and a couple dog dishes.  He ended up naming the dog Boxcar, and for months after they were inseparable.  If my Grandfather wandered off the porch, Boxcar would follow him.  If he had to go into town for any reason, Boxcar would ride in the passenger seat of the pick-up truck.

 

Last August 2^nd, for some unknown reason, Boxcar stood up and walked down the front step of the porch and headed down Lake Front Road.  I’d like to point out at this point, your honor, that Lake Front is a gravel road.  Even when people don’t speed, the amount of dust kicked up is tremendous.  Everything along that road is always covered in dirt and dust.  No one living along that stretch hangs their laundry out to dry.  It would be nothing but mud in no time."

“Is there a point to this Mr. Louis?”

"Sorry, your honor.  Anyway, as Boxcar was making his way along Lake Front, and cars were whizzing past, once in a while, tiny rocks would be flung out from their tires.  Boxcar would yelp whenever he got hit with one of these pebbles.

The Miller’s live along that road and Scott Miller just happened to be outside when he heard Boxcar yelp.  Well, of course, he came around their fence to see what was going on.  That’s when he spotted Boxcar, who by that time was completely filthy, hungry and hurting from the tiny rocks bounding off of him."

“Excuse me for a moment, Mr. Louis."  The judge looked over at the bailiff and asked, “Isn’t your son named Scott?”  The bailiff answered that his son’s name was Scott and that he lived on Lake Front Road.  "And do you happen to know where this story is going?”

It was at that point the bailiff, the court recorder and the attorneys broke into laughter.

Mr. Louis raised his hand to get the judge’s attention.  

"I’m sorry, your honor, but they bet me that I couldn’t keep you listening to a story for at least 20 minutes.  It has now been exactly that, so I win.  I’m also hoping you don’t throw me in jail for wasting the court’s time."

“How much did you win, Mr. Louis?”

"$200.00 your honor."

"Then that’s your fine.  Case dismissed."

 

 

 

 The story you just read is true.  The judge eventually threw a small party for everyone working in her courtroom.  Even Mr. Louis was invited.