Thank you for your service

 

It was my job in the Air Force to park these planes once the pilots landed them.

They either had a designated location on the flight deck or a specific hanger they were to go in.  

Once the pilots climbed down from the cockpit, they’d toss me the keys, like I was some kind of valet or something.  I’d climb into the seat and adjust the mirrors and of course put my seatbelt on. 

One particular rainy night, I remember it well, I got myself into the cockpit and there were candy wrappers, and McDonald cheeseburger wrappers everywhere.

  What a slob, I thought.  Well apparently, the messy plane and the rain had taken my mind off of my driving.

 

And no, before you jump to any conclusions, I didn’t run into anything.  I did, however, accidently nudge a switch which fired a rocket at one of the fighter planes parked 600 yards ahead of me.  Boy did that blow-up.  What a mess.

I did eventually get an honorable discharge, but not until signing a promissory note to pay back the 2.4 million to the Air Force.  They agreed to take $12,160.45 a month from my check for the next 30 years.

Of course, it took an act of Congress to give me a field promotion.  They had to make me a Major so my paycheck would cover my debt.