Solid White Zebra

 

To be sure, there was much discussion as to whether it was in fact a solid white zebra.  Some speculated that it was simply a horse, a few claimed it to be a rare donkey from Brazil, while Norton, in the back row, suggested it might just be an unfortunate victim of Unicorn poachers.  Annoyed grumbling spread throughout the assembled when suddenly Norton held up a piece of paper and said, “I have proof.”

Of course, Norton did not have proof, but was waving about his cable TV bill.  The cable company had once again raised their rates, sending Norton over the edge and into the wrong meeting.

Mary, a social worker, who was only attending the meeting because she had read about the solid white zebra in the local paper and wanted to see it for herself, took note of Norton’s crazed condition and worked her way over to him to see if she could somehow help.

She introduced herself to Norton and the two of them headed over to the diner for coffee.  Mary was not yet old enough to qualify for the free senior coffee and turns out and Norton does not drink coffee, but Mary had a kind face and so Norton put a couple bucks on the counter to pay for her beverage.  The waitress brought one coffee and then asked Norton if he wanted anything.  “I’ll have an orange juice.”  The waitress poured his juice and then informed them that it would be $2.20. 

Norton was 20 cents short and did not have anything beyond his two dollars.  Mary dug through her purse and was able to come up with three postage stamps and a twenty-dollar bill.  The waitress did not want to go through the math required to break down such a large bill for just 20 cents, so she went along the counter removing pennies from the little dishes that said Take-A-Penny Leave-A-Penny.  She soon had the 20 cents and happily scooted back to Mary, sliding her twenty-dollar bill back towards her.

“I’ve got this.” she said.

That afternoon Mary spent listening to Norton explain how his cable bill had gone up every month for the last three years.  He had always hoped the government would step in and put a halt to the insanity, but as Mary explained it to him, the government was getting way too many kickbacks and payoffs to interfere with such an enterprise.

After that, Norton’s rant seemed to gather more momentum as he launched into the drawbacks and failures of government.  Mary had heard this all before and wasn’t about to sit and listen to it all again.  She convinced Norton to follow her out to her car.  She then opened up the trunk and told Norton to climb in, explaining that the government may be watching and they shouldn’t really be seen leaving together.  Norton climbed in and Mary closed the lid.

It was an exciting time for Norton.  To him, this seemed like an adventure.  He was enjoying the sound of the tires on the pavement and the low rumble of the muffler.  Meanwhile, Mary clicked on the radio and began to sing along with Hooked on a Feeling.  She delighted in her thoughts of never again returning to social work, and never again listening to whiney people complaining about everything.  Back at the diner Mary had snapped.

After what seemed like two hours or so had passed, Norton noticed a change in the tire noise.  They were now driving on a dirt road, and some of the dirt and dust was making its way into the trunk.  Thinking he’d like more air in the trunk than dirt and dust, he unscrewed the valve on the spare tire and poked the valve stem with his fingernail, sending a constant hiss of air into the trunk compartment.

Unbeknownst to Mary or Norton, the government had been listening to their conversation back at the diner.  Government agents sent to investigate the claim of a solid white zebra had gone to the diner for a break.  That is when they overheard Norton and Mary talking about graft and corruption in government.  Being experienced agents, they knew that one person complaining was normal, but that two or more was considered a conspiracy, so they chose to follow them.

What they couldn’t understand was why one of the conspirators was riding in the trunk, but being professionals, they followed from a safe distance in an attempt to avoid detection.   It wasn’t but a few miles later when Mary’s left front tire blew out.  The car swerved and skidded to a stop.   As Mary got out and started towards the trunk, the plain-wrap government vehicle pulled up behind her.

Mary knew she had so far done nothing wrong, as there wasn’t any law against having a passenger ride in the trunk.  The government agents appeared as just businessmen, out for a ride along an old country road.  The first agent asked her if she needed any assistance.

“I believe my tire went flat, but my friend here in the trunk can help me change it.”  And with that she popped open the trunk.

Norton sat up and at seeing the three people standing there looking back at him, smiled and gave a friendly little wave.

“We have a flat Norton; we’re going to need the spare.”

Norton climbed out of the trunk and handing his cable bill to one of the men, proceeded to lift the spare tire from the trunk.

“It’s flat,” the second man said.

As luck would have it, a service truck from the cable company was slowly driving past them.  He stopped when he noticed one of the men holding a cable bill in his hand.

“Anything I can help with?” he said through his open window.

It was at that point when Norton noticed the cable logo on the door of the truck. 

“Yes, you can help us change this tire.” Norton replied.

 

 

To be continued…